Interview: Linus van Pelt

This interview with Linus was featured in our latest zine, which hit mailboxes this week. We hope everyone has a great Christmas! If you’re interested in receiving future zines, be sure to reach out to us.

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Linus van Pelt is best known as Charlie Brown’s best friend in the Peanuts comic strips and specials. He is generally considered to be a good guy, and his Peanuts wiki describes him as “kind” and “caring.” But… is he? After taking a closer look at some of the evidence, we had some tough questions for Linus to answer.

Snow in Southtown: Thanks for joining us, Linus. I know some of this might be tough to discuss, and I appreciate that you’re here to at least tell your side. But here at Snow in Southtown, a hard-hitting true crime kind of podcast, we’ve uncovered some crucial evidence that allegedly proves you’re not the wise, kind-hearted soul people have made you out to be. In fact, in many ways, you might kind of be a selfish jerk. Do you have any general thoughts about this before we dig into the evidence?

Linus: While I live my life to the best of my ability and hope that others find me to be an upright person, I cannot help what others think of me, and I cannot change who I am simply because of their thoughts. To quote the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu, “Care about what other people think, and you will always be their prisoner.”

Snow in Southtown: OK, but last Thanksgiving, your buddy Charlie Brown found himself in a tough situation when your friend group decided to hold a Friendsgiving event at Charlie’s house. The problem is that his parents (as usual) were not going to be around to help host this event. Yet YOU told him it would be fine. You said he could serve toast and popcorn as a Thanksgiving MEAL. Have you actually HAD a Thanksgiving meal? Did you honestly believe that your friends would’ve been OK with this stuff being served?

Linus: Toast and popcorn could have been a grand banquet among imaginative children, especially since the true feast was our enduring friendship. I encouraged Charlie Brown in organizing this special event, and he proved himself capable — with the help of his dog Snoopy — by pulling it off. I was proud of good ol’ Charlie Brown and the part I played.

Snow in Southtown: As expected, your friends didn’t appreciate it. Why didn’t you give Charlie better advice? Like, I don’t know, maybe, “Have your parents call these kids’ guardians, and tell them that you had other plans”? Maybe you could’ve suggested that he turn it into a potluck. Do you feel slightly responsible for how it all went down?

Linus: I would ask you to take this up with Peppermint Patty, the only person who actually complained, but she apologized when she learned she was in the wrong. I have already forgotten the traditional meal we ate at Charlie Brown’s grandmother’s condominium, but I and everyone present will remember sitting at that ping-pong table forever. As you may have heard, man cannot live by bread alone. This also goes for boys and girls and Thanksgiving meals.

Snow in Southtown: At Christmas, do you feel like you supported Charlie enough when it mattered the most?

Linus: Yep.

Snow in Southtown: I mean, you basically doubted his tree the whole time, and sure, you gave a little speech to try to avoid a nativity rumble. But you really didn’t publicly support him until everyone else decided they liked Charlie’s tree. Could you have been a better friend during the tree selection process itself?

Linus: Charlie Brown is an interesting person, but his behavior doesn’t always translate well in social situations. He ignored the wishes of his friends when choosing a tree, and I tried to talk him out of it to save him even more embarrassment. I personally didn’t care, since I didn’t think we needed a tree at all, aluminum or otherwise. When Charlie Brown started screaming at the cast and projecting his psychological issues onto his friends, I tried to calm poor Charlie Brown down by reminding him of what Christmas was all about. If he weren’t so Charlie Browny, he could have danced and had fun at the rehearsals like everyone else. When I joined in the dancing with everyone else, it was in the hopes that Charlie Brown would follow my lead. When Charlie Brown abandoned the play, we all followed him to make sure he wasn’t alone during this dark moment. I realized the only way to make him feel happy was to resurrect this tree, which had become a symbol for him. I really didn’t think it was such a bad little tree. I wasn’t lying about that. But mostly I was trying to help Charlie Brown. We all were. I don’t like to think of what would have happened to Charlie Brown that night if it weren’t for his good friend Linus.

Snow in Southtown: On Valentine’s Day, Charlie expressed hope for the future, thinking there’s a chance that he could receive more valentines next year. You immediately shut him down and told him not to be so optimistic. What kind of friend even does that?

Linus: Once again, I was helping him. Charlie Brown has unrealistic expectations when it comes to things like valentines and Christmas cards and even mailboxes in general. I once heard that he even waited by his mailbox for Thanksgiving. What was he expecting? A turkey card? Just a little joke, but an original one, if I do say so myself.

Snow in Southtown: OK, how do you feel about making Sally Brown miss tricks or treats last Halloween?

Linus: Sally made the wise decision to wait with me in the pumpkin patch for the Great Pumpkin. It was a sincere pumpkin patch, nothing but sincerity as far as the eye could see, and in spite of her scolding me afterward because she missed tricks or treats, I know that she will think back on the beauty and stillness of that starry night and realize that she would much rather wait with me in the pumpkin patch for the Great Pumpkin next year than participate in the crass practice of begging adults for candy bars, quarters, and packages of gum.

Snow in Southtown: I don’t know. We’ve heard rumors that she will soon be filing a civil suit seeking restitution. Do you agree that you owe her anything?

Linus: Wasn’t it the English poet George Herbert who said, “Speak not of my debts unless you wish to pay them”? Well, wasn’t it?

Snow in Southtown: Who knows. But more importantly, did you eat the candy that your sister collected for you that night? That seems unfair of you, and I believe you should’ve given that candy to Sally. Thoughts?

Linus: It was Sally’s choice to miss tricks or treats, and it was Lucy’s choice to collect candy for me. It would be wrong of me to sully either of their choices by doing otherwise than what I did.

Snow in Southtown: What is your take on last year’s “Easter Beagle” incident? I acknowledge that you kind of got lucky, since technically a beagle did come around throwing eggs. But we all know that it was just Snoopy, the beagle who hangs around with your friends every day. And the eggs were all the ones that your friends had prepared. He stole eggs from you and gave them back. And he’s NOT the Easter Beagle. Have you not learned your lesson about deceiving your friends following the Great Pumpkin debacle?

Linus: “Debacle”?! What do you mean “debacle”? Sure, the Great Pumpkin didn’t visit me this last time, but that doesn’t mean he won’t come. You’ll see. Just like the Easter Beagle came. Why does everyone think something doesn’t exist just because Charlie Brown’s dog happens to be a beagle? There was an Easter Beagle, and there most certainly is a Great Pumpkin! Oh, ye of little faith! Sure, I’d love to see the Great Pumpkin with my own eyes, but blessed are those who do not see and yet believe. What do you even believe in at all, asking these questions? I’d like to know. I’d like to know! I’ll take one more question only.

Snow in Southtown: OK, fine. On New Year’s Eve, while Charlie was on the front porch sleeping, exhausted from reading Tolstoy and cramming for his assignment, YOU danced with his crush! As his best friend, the Little Red-Haired Girl should be off limits, yet you danced with her the first chance you got. Do you have an explanation for this? Are you an animal?

Linus: First, about the book report, I read both War and Peace and Crime and Punishment, on my own, in first grade. I don’t see why Charlie Brown was so overwhelmed when he was assigned these books, something anyone our age should be able to read over a weekend. As for the “little red-haired girl,” I know that Charlie Brown has always admired Heather, but if it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t even know her name. As Charlie Brown’s best friend, I felt it was my duty to dance with Heather in his absence. If he really liked her, he would want her to have fun at the New Year’s dance and not be lonely. But I wonder if he does really like her, and I admit that I worry about Charlie Brown’s unhealthy obsessions. Sigmund Freud was able to distinguish obsession from phobia, but he did find a relationship between the two, and Charlie Brown could have been a textbook patient.

Snow in Southtown: Thanks for your time, Linus. Any final thoughts that you’d like to share to defend yourself?

Linus: In the book of Daniel, when King Nebuchadnezzar threatened to throw Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego into the fiery furnace if they did not bow down to his golden statue, their answer to his threat was, “We have no need to present a defense to you in this matter.” And although I have indeed defended myself today, I did so for anyone else who may find themselves in my situation and not for myself alone. Whether I am delivered from my accusers or not, I will not bow down before their false accusations, which are like idols to them. In the words of Martin Luther at the Diet of Worms, “Here I stand. I can do no other.”

2023 Halloween Marathon: Week 9 Reviews

Check out the full schedule for our horror movie marathon here.

*The Exorcist: Believer (2023) – 5/10 – This was better than I ever could’ve expected it to be. I think the story is good, and I liked the thought process of just having a bunch of random people around to help and see what works. That’s probably the best way to do it. I also liked the idea of making people choose who survives. Maybe I’m not the smartest about this stuff, but if the demon was literally just playing a sick game with them the whole time, that at least seems like a purpose or a motive to me. Will I watch this again? I don’t know. Will I watch the inevitable sequel? Definitely.

*When Evil Lurks (2023) – 7/10 – This was crazy. I don’t know if a second viewing would increase or decrease my rating, but I’m leaning toward increase. There is a lot to unpack as you try to decide if this is more like a zombie situation or a virus outbreak or what. The characters are constantly put in situations that make The Mist’s ending almost seem normal, which is saying a lot. This was another one that had been building up a buzz over the last few months and thankfully managed to live up to it.

*Five Nights at Freddy’s (2023) – 5/10 – This was fine. It’s probably perfect for its intended audience. As someone who admittedly knows very little about the game (I played it a few times with the kids when it was new), I didn’t feel like it was tied to the source nearly enough, and I don’t think I’m alone in that. I also really thought I’d see more about things like pizza and video games and tickets and prizes. I don’t know. That’s the stuff I think of when I think about Showbiz and Chuck E. Cheese. There was a lot of room for fun stuff like that, and maybe they’ll add more of those little things in the (once again) inevitable sequel. Make it fun.

* = first watch

Thanks to everyone who followed along and especially to those who suggested films this year!

2023 Halloween Marathon: Week 8 Reviews

Check out the full schedule for our horror movie marathon here.

*Silent Madness (1984) – 4/10 – This was so close to being OK, and it has a lot of things that the “classics” have, but it ultimately falls a little short. It’s definitely a fun slasher at times. And I loved the computer stuff in the beginning. But it’s just too slow and doesn’t have enough in between the slow parts to really be memorable. And I don’t know if we just know so much about slashers now, but the ending was clear from pretty early on. Yet apparently it was supposed to be a twist, and I had no idea. I assumed we’d basically been told about the “twist,” but I guess back then, if it wasn’t completely spelled out, the audience could be tricked.

The Craft (1996) – 8/10 – Another one that I haven’t seen in a while, and it was a lot of fun. The soundtrack makes me want to go to a 9, honestly. Let’s call this an 8.5.

Demons 2 (1986) – 5/10 – This was the first film in Joe Bob’s Helloween special, which was a lot of fun, as expected. Maybe the best Halloween episode since 2019. But the demons here are really just zombies, guys. Still, similar to The Craft, we HAVE to add points for the soundtrack. This is more like a 3.5 for me, until you factor in the killer tracks by The Smiths, The Cult, Love and Rockets, and others. Up next was…

All Hallows’ Eve (2013) – 2/10 – I’m sorry. I know it’s SO uncool for me to say this in 2023… but I just don’t get Art the Clown. Darcy and Joe Bob (and everyone else) are ready to call him an icon, and I just don’t care. People aren’t really scared of clowns. They’re scared of psychos who happen to be dressed as clowns. And Art just bores me. I could go 3 or 4 out of 10 for the Terrifier movies, but the middle segment in this film is beyond boring.

* = first watch

Note: The final films for our TBA weekend will be The Exorcist: Believer (2023) and When Evil Lurks (2023).

2023 Halloween Marathon: Week 7 Reviews

Check out the full schedule for our horror movie marathon here.

Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), Part VI (1986) – 10/10 – It was a busy weekend with House of Usher and everything else we wanted to watch, so I just went with two favorites on Friday the 13th.

*The Fall of the House of Usher (2023) – 9/10 – This was nearly perfect. I had no idea where Flanagan was going to go with it, and while a lot had to be added to the story of course, almost everything comes from Poe’s work. I’d read a lot of the stories within the last 5-10 years, but there are some that I haven’t read in a long time. Still, because I’m so familiar with a lot of it, I could start to predict some of the story, and that was when it was most fun. But I feel like I need to read it all again to be able to fully appreciate the series. That being said, I think the show would still be pretty great if you’d never read a word of Poe.

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948) – 9/10 – Svengoolie’s first film this weekend. This is in my top five Universal monster films.

*Totally Killer (2023) – 9/10 – I was ready for a letdown after seeing so many people talk about this one the last couple of weeks, but they were all right. It’s great. I think they missed a few ’80s jokes (but nailed a bunch) and probably missed a few things to add to the time travel aspect, although I think they were aware of a thin margin between inspiration and just straight up ripping off Back to the Future. I loved it, and I hope there’s a sequel.

*The Wrath of Becky (2023) – 8/10 – This was also a lot of fun. I liked the first one (probably a 7/10), and this sequel just ramps it up. Apparently they’re planning a third one now, and I can’t wait. I would take Becky against John Wick and all of the Expendables put together.

*Final Summer (2023) – 8/10 – Guys, they did it! We have to sit through so many of these ’80s/’90s “throwbacks” just to find one that is worth watching. And this is the one. This looks good, it sounds good, the acting is fine, and it has original music (both score and soundtrack) that doesn’t sound like garbage. Movies like this one make it seem like it shouldn’t be so hard, but for some reason, everyone always messes it up. Here we get a simple legend, a remote location, and filmmakers who get the absolute best production quality for their budget. There are great references to the time period without being overbearing (yes, PLEASE do not play “More Than Words” on that guitar!), yet it’s also timeless and evergreen enough that it doesn’t matter when the story is taking place, which is how it should be.

*They Wait in the Dark (2022) – 8/10 – Director Patrick Rea and I go back to my horror podcast days, and I love all of his films. He manages to do a lot with small budgets and always brings something unique to the table. This one is a slow monster revenge story that utilizes some pretty good acting while constantly building suspense. Ultimately it peaks with the kind of dark horror that Patrick delivers every time, but it has a little fun along the way too.

*Never Hike Alone 2 (2023) – 7/10 – These guys do crowdfunded Friday the 13th fan films that are completely free to stream, and they do a really good job. The production and cinematography are better than a lot of ’80s slashers that we love.

*Suburban Screams, “Kelly” (2023) – 5/10 – I was really excited about John Carpenter’s return, but this was kind of disappointing. It’s a lot like Unsolved Mysteries, but more on the horror side of course. There are times where the Carpenter music really stands out, but overall it’s nothing special. I’ll likely still watch the other episodes, and it looks like I may enjoy some of the other stories more.

* = first watch

2023 Halloween Marathon: Week 6 Reviews

Check out the full schedule for our horror movie marathon here.

The Gate (1987) – 8/10 – When I was a kid, I used to look for “gates” in random parks and stuff around my town. I even had a little bible in my backpack, just in case I needed it to close a gate. Now, however, I just want a Sacrifyx record.

*V/H/S/85 (2023) – 3/10 – I have not liked any of the VHS films, but I gave this one a shot because one of the segments is directed by Scott Derrickson, who did Sinister and Black Phone. The frame story here is not very good, and I didn’t enjoy the second and third shorts at all. However, the first and fourth segments (related shorts, both directed by Mike P. Nelson) are actually pretty good. Then Derrickson’s, saved for last, is OK as well. Additionally, the commercials and stuff are pretty fun, although the WNUF Halloween Special did it better. The thing that confused me the most about the format is that we’re supposed to believe all of these things were filmed on the same cassette. I don’t get how that’s possible in any world. Other problems: this isn’t completely “found footage,” not everyone had video cameras at home in 1985, and when they did, they definitely sound anything like this.

*Haunted Mansion (2023) – 8/10 – This was as good as we could hope for, I think, and I like it a lot more than the Eddie Murphy movie. Having it take place in New Orleans bumps it up a bit for me, of course. But I also have to say, it’s just toooooo long. We have pitch clocks in baseball, and Disney is making movies longer than two hours? Also, I’d love a legitimate horror version of this. Or maybe that’s just 13 Ghosts.

*Ouija Witch (2023) – 2/10 – Every now and then I relive my horror podcast days and do this to myself. I made it through this thing (while working on some other stuff), so I’ll give it a 2. But I’m gonna waste time here writing about it. Just know you shouldn’t watch it or anything.

* = first watch

2023 Halloween Marathon: Week 5 Reviews

Check out the full schedule for our horror movie marathon here.

Cube (1997) – 7/10 – My main complaint with this movie is just that it feels too much like the Canadian TV stuff from this period and not enough like a feature film. But I definitely like it, and I probably like it more than Saw. Of course, I don’t know nearly enough about math to know if any of the number stuff is legit, so I just have to trust them like a big dummy. Why can’t we ever get a grammar nerd psycho who makes people diagram a sentence to escape? (Thanks to King Richard for the pick!)

Cube 2: Hypercube (2002) – 3/10 – To be fair to King Richard, he only picked the first Cube for this weekend. I was the idiot who added Cube 2 in an effort to revisit it, hoping it wasn’t as bad as I’d remembered. So that’s my fault. But I was thinking, they really should’ve gotten Ice Cube to be in one of these things, right?

*Deliver Us (2023) – 5/10 – A pregnant nun believes she is carrying both the messiah and the devil (or something like that), and a Jesuit priest has to help her escape. I usually hate this stuff, but this was OK! I actually really liked it at times, especially when it’s almost a slasher, but then there are parts where it falls flat, as expected. But there’s a version somewhere in here that could be a 7 or 8 for me, which is saying a lot.

*All Fun and Games (2023) – 5/10 – This demon possession film set in Salem features some pretty good actors, including Annabeth Gish and kids from Stranger Things, Bly Manor, The Pope’s Exorcist, and others. Factor in the short run time (76 minutes), and it’s worth a watch.

*Killer Kites (2023) – I can’t really rate this because it’s not just a horror film. It’s more of a warning about the dangers of flying kites, specifically evil kites, you know? And for that, it’s a 10/10. Don’t watch it because I say it’s fun. Watch it because it might save you one day.

*Slotherhouse (2023) – 2/10 – OK, this was bad. Obviously, no one expected it to be good, but it’s just really dumb. The sloth drives, browses the web, and takes selfies. For 93 minutes! The kills are “fine” (it’s a PG-13, so don’t even expect good slasher kills), but it could’ve been way better as a 20-minute short. If you want something crazy and funny, Killer Kites is better than this. Things I said out loud while watching it: “We’re only 15 minutes into this thing?” “It’s only halfway over?” “There are STILL 20 minutes left?”

* = first watch

Update: This weekend’s Shudder picks will be The Gate (1987) and V/H/S/85 (2023). We’ll also watch Haunted Mansion (2023) and a bunch more.

2023 Halloween Marathon: Week 4 Reviews

Check out the full schedule for our horror movie marathon here.

*The Visitor (1979) – 3/10 – I don’t know if I would’ve liked this in 1979, but it didn’t age very well. The writing is bad, and the music is really hard to take. A kid with telekinetic powers affecting the outcome of a basketball game is even cooler than a firestarter! So it had potential. But she’s not the best child actor they could’ve found. And for every bald alien in this film, there are three awful songs that sound like they should be on the Electric Company or something. There’s a fun ice skating scene (in a mall!) that shows how cool this could’ve been. Look it up on YouTube. The rest kinda stinks.

*Nightmare Cinema (2018) – 6/10 – This is a decent anthology with contributions from Mick Garris, Joe Dante, Richard Christian Matheson, Mickey Rourke, Patrick Wilson, and others. The first segment is a slasher that transitions into a sci-fi creature thing, and it’s my favorite by far (and bumps this from a 5 to a 6). The rest are all fine compared to most modern horror anthologies and feature botched plastic surgeries, Catholic school demonic possessions, etc.

Suspiria (1977) – 8/10 – I saw this was on Tubi and clicked on it, and then we realized my wife had never seen it. However, she fell asleep shortly after it started, so now she thinks it’s just a dumb movie about some weird dancers who fight a lot and argue about money.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988) – 5/10 – My wife didn’t believe that a man could be killed with pies, but then she saw it with her own eyes.

*The Return of the Vampire (1943) – 5/10 – Svengoolie’s weekly film. Apparently this was supposed to be a Dracula sequel, but Universal wouldn’t allow it, so it’s just Bela Lugosi as a TOTALLY different vampire and definitely NOT Dracula. It’s a shame this one wasn’t a Universal Dracula because the story is better than some of the actual sequels.

*Natty Knocks (2023) – 3/10 – This is directed by Dwight Little, who made Halloween 4, a film I love way more than anyone probably should. Plus, Halloween 4’s Danielle Harris is here, along with Robert Englund! One thing we know is that Little can do small-town Halloween, and he does that well again here. But that’s about it. While most of this is average for low budget modern horror, the kids’ ages are the most difficult part to accept. There is a teenage girl who is supposed to be in elementary school (I think), and then there are older teens who (I think) are supposed to be in middle school, all requiring the babysitter, who is in her 20s but in high school.

* = first watch

2023 Halloween Marathon: Week 3 Reviews

Check out the full schedule for our horror movie marathon here.

Final Exam (1981) – 6/10 – Starting your film with a mass shooting fraternity prank doesn’t hold up very well in 2023. But I love 1981 horror, and this is a fun slasher. Unfortunately, it takes a good hour or so for the actual slashing. The music rips off Halloween a lot, but I’d rather you rip off Halloween than create something new that’s bad.

The Faculty (1998) – 7/10 – Haven’t seen this one in a long time, possibly since the theater. Being more of a horror fan than sci-fi, I always remembered thinking it was good for the genre, but I don’t remember ever revisiting it. I absolutely did not remember all of the talent that had been gathered for such a silly film that had no right to be good, but they pulled it off. It’s pretty fun. Is this considered the Scream of sci-fi? Cause it should be, right?

*The Passenger (2023) – 8/10 – Not exactly horror, but more of a slow, tense thriller that’s close enough. I was interested in this one as a Blumhouse indie film shot in New Orleans, and it’s pretty good. I’d like to take a minute here to update my stance on Kyle Gallner, who became something of a joke on our horror podcast like 10-12 years ago. I don’t even really remember what movies we didn’t like him in (maybe Red State and the Elm Street remake?), but he’s been good in everything I’ve seen him in since back then. And his sweater/jacket thing in this movie is pretty awesome.

*Children of the Corn (2023) – 3/10 – This is not a good movie; however, people who are saying it’s the worst of the sequels have obviously never watched any of the sequels. Cause honestly, it might actually be the best one. That’s how bad those films are, you guys. Part II with the dad and the son running around Gatlin like idiots? The Gathering with Naomi Watts? Revelation with Crystal Lowe? They’re everything that’s bad about ’90s and early aughts horror. This one is definitely stupid, and it has little to do with Stephen King’s masterpiece. Still, it’s at least watchable, and they do something different with He Who Walks Behind the Rows.

*The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon, “L’âme Perdue” (2023) – 2/10 – This was screened during another bonus/surprise episode of The Last Drive-In (two weeks in a row!), thanks to AMC trying its best to capitalize on the coolest thing it controls (yet relegates to a streaming service that most people don’t know about). The special itself was fun, as always, but I couldn’t be any less interested in anything Walking Dead related these days. This episode had one good part, which can be summarized in two words: nun fight.

* = first watch

2023 Halloween Marathon: Week 2 Reviews

Check out the full schedule for our horror movie marathon here.

*Flesh for Frankenstein (1973) – 5/10 – This is wacky, but it could’ve been worse. I liked the castle and the atmosphere (the bats were really cool), and the final scene is pretty great.

*Blood for Dracula (1974) – 3/10 – OK, this one is not very good, and it’s longer. Flesh for Frankenstein at least has something of a plot to work with. This one is really just Dracula trying to marry one of four sisters for an entire movie. Also, while Frankenstein’s movie is set in his castle, here we see Dracula leave Transylvania, and the whole film takes place in an Italian house that is supposedly falling apart. Ultimately, it’s hard to tell which character is the biggest idiot, and I think the answer is that they’re all tied for first place.

Night of the Demons (1988) – 5/10 – This was screened in a surprise Last Drive-In special on Shudder (Live From the Jamboree) this weekend, and the special itself was definitely a 10/10. However, no matter how many times I watch this movie, I just can’t fully get into it. It’s obviously fun at times, and the music cracks me up. But some people consider it to be a classic, and I don’t think I’ll ever get there.

*Cobweb (2023) – 4/10 – I was looking forward to this one, and it was a letdown. Reviews are comparing it to Goosebumps, which is fine with me, but I hate movies with terrible parents, and no one prepared me for that. Surprisingly, I thought the final act was the best part by far, while reviews are saying the ending is weak. I really liked the music and all the Halloween spirit, but I feel like it was all wasted here. This is the worst I’ve ever seen from both Lizzy Caplan and Anthony Starr.

*The War of the Gargantuas (1966) – 4/10 – Svengoolie’s weekly movie. This is hilarious, and the gargantuas are like a combination of ewoks, the baby Grinch from the Jim Carrey movie, and the Jolly Green Giant. Brown is good, green is bad, and the overdubs are awful. Definitely worth watching once, especially with Svengoolie.

House of Dracula (1945) – 7/10 – I like this one and go to it often for a number of reasons. First, it’s under 70 minutes. Also, it’s very “doctor-y,” and I love when they really dig into the funny science in these things. But most importantly, you get multiple monsters at once, including (eventually) Frankenstein, who is my favorite. Perfect for football pre-game.

* = first watch

2023 Halloween Marathon: Week 1 Reviews

Check out the full schedule for our horror movie marathon here.

*The Haunting of Julia (1977) – 4/10 – There weren’t a whole lot of ghosts in this ghost movie. And there weren’t enough creepy kids for it to be an effective creepy kid movie. I don’t know how they got Mia Farrow, but she couldn’t really save it.

*A Ghost Story (2017) – 5/10 – As I said on a recent bonus episode, I realized too late that this one isn’t a horror film. Even worse, it’s a total bummer. It’s a fine movie if you’re trying to have an emo Halloween. If you’re here for fun, skip this one!

*The Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023) – 6/10 – I guess this is about what I expected. It looks fine and was OK to watch once, but I don’t know that I’d ever want to revisit it. We had some complaints about the story and mainly that Dracula is only a creature here, although his human form would’ve worked at different points along the way. If they’re setting this up for a franchise, I’d likely watch the sequels.

Frankenstein (1931) – 9/10 – This was the weekly Svengoolie movie.

*The Boogeyman (2023) – 5/10 – This really should’ve been better, but I guess I’ll take what I can get with a film that tries to turn a Stephen King story into The Babadook. My main concern is that these movie psychiatrists always have home offices, constantly putting their families at risk. Maybe it’s not such a good idea, guys.

*Lovers Lane (1999) – 2/10 – The Hook Killer is one of my favorite urban legends, and I was cautiously optimistic when I discovered this recently. But yeah, it’s bad ’90s horror at its best/worst. The people making these awful ’90s movies knew about Scream, right? Or even I Know What You Did Last Summer or Urban Legends? This one is more like those terrible Cruel Intentions sequels, and it makes Jack Frost look like Carpenter’s Halloween. You should get a prize if you make it to the end. (Note: At least one of the actresses was actually in Cruel Intentions 2. She was also in Devil in the Flesh 2. That’s what we’re dealing with here.)

*Pin (1988) – 7/10 – Maybe I liked this more because Lovers Lane was so bad. It’s not a great movie; some of the acting could certainly be better, and the music is a distraction. But it’s fun and kinda creepy. I was expecting bowling horror and got ventriloquism instead. If you liked Terry O’Quinn in The Stepfather, his character here is very similar. And we’ll see David Hewlett again soon in Cube.

* = first watch

2023 Halloween Horror Movie Marathon

It’s almost September, and we’re kicking off our Horror Movie Marathon for the third year! Beginning this weekend, we’ll be watching and discussing horror movies until Halloween. We have two movies picked for each weekend (with a few exceptions) and will watch a bunch of other stuff in between.

I’ll have weekly posts with quick reviews for each film that we watch, and I’ll also be around on Facebook and Twitter if anyone wants to discuss any of the movies.

Here is the planned schedule. Check in on our Facebook for the TBA picks!

September 1-3: The Haunting of Julia (1977), A Ghost Story (2017)

September 8-10: Flesh for Frankenstein (1973), Blood for Dracula (1974) — Rusty’s picks!

September 15-17: Final Exam (1981), The Faculty (1998)

September 22-24: The Visitor (1979), Nightmare Cinema (2018)

September 29 – October 1: Cube (1997), Cube 2: Hypercube (2002) — King Richard’s picks!

October 6-8: Shudder weekend TBA | Update: The Gate (1987) and V/H/S/85 (2023)

*House of Usher – 10/12 – Netflix (8 episodes)

October 13-15: Friday the 13th marathon

October 20-22: Silent Madness (1984), The Craft (1996) (+ Shudder’s The Last Drive-In Halloween special, Joe Bob’s Helloween)

October 27-29: TBA (hoping for 2023 releases that are available to stream before Halloween)

If you missed our marathons in 2021 and 2022, here are the scheduled films from each year:

2022

Cemetery of Terror (1985), Elvira’s Haunted Hills (2001), The Fog (1980), The Fog (2005), Halloween (2018), Halloween Kills (2021), Halloween Ends (2022), Hatchet (2006), He Knows You’re Alone (1980), Midnight Club (2022 – Netflix series), The Monster Squad (1987), Popcorn (1991), Psycho (1960), Psycho II (1983), Psycho III (1986), Psycho IV (1990), Raven’s Hollow (2022), Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022), Trick or Treats (1982), Watcher (2022)

2021

Angel (1983), Carrie (1976), Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981), Don’t Breathe 2 (2021), Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982), Halloween complete series (1978-2018), Halloween Kills (2021), Happy Birthday to Me (1981), Haunt (2019), The House of the Devil (2009), Martyrs Lane (2021), Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3 (1987), Poltergeist (1982), Scary Stories To Tell in the Dark (2019), Sleepy Hollow (1999), Terror Train (1980), Trick ‘r Treat (2007)

2022 Halloween Marathon: Week 9 Reviews

Here are some quick reviews from the final movies. Thanks to everyone who followed along! Check out the full schedule here.

He Knows You’re Alone (1980) – 8/10 – This one is mostly known for one of its supporting actors named Tom Hanks, and I hadn’t seen it since the days of our scary movie marathons more than 20 years ago. So I didn’t know what to expect. It starts out OK, with a Scream-like film inside of a film, a pretty good kill, and the Breakfast Club principal, and it picks up from there. Tom Hanks’s part is pretty small, just a couple of scenes, but he’s really good, obviously. Heading into the third act, I was already thinking it was a 7/10, but a great kill and a perfect ending bumped it up even higher. If you like slashers, especially early ’80s slashers, and somehow haven’t seen this, definitely check it out.

The Monster Squad (1987) – 10/10 – I don’t really know what I hoped to accomplish by signing myself up to post a short review of what I consider a perfect film, but there’s not really much to say here. Not only does it still hold up, but if we’re remaking and rebooting all of these horror films, this one should be at the top of someone’s list. In fact, let’s get a whole Netflix series going. I’d love to live in a society where the Universal Monsters are once again as popular (and as widely marketed) as Stranger Things. I won’t rest until I can buy a Dracula-themed frozen pizza from Walmart, OK?

Well, after two months, we’ve reached the end of our marathon! Halloween will be over in another hour or so, and our first bonus episode of the holiday season will be available in the morning. And related to this marathon, we’ll be discussing Anna and the Apocalypse on our first full episode this weekend.

2022 Halloween Marathon: Week 8 Reviews

Here are some quick reviews from this week’s movies. Check out the full schedule here. Joe Bob’s Haunted Halloween Hangout on Shudder featured Elvira’s Haunted Hills and Popcorn.

Elvira’s Haunted Hills (2001) – 5/10 – I appreciate Elvira as a horror host, but I’m sometimes not a huge fan of the comedic style. I don’t know if I’d ever seen this one, but it was fun enough at times, as usual. It’d be a lot cooler, of course, if she could do something like this with the Universal monsters.

Popcorn (1991) – 6/10 – This was the first time I’d seen this one in a while, and it holds up pretty well. I really like the movies within the movie. Is there a DVD release that has them all as shorts? If not, there really should be.

Terror Train (2022) – 5/10 – This is probably more like a 4/10, but I really appreciate Tubi making it and would be totally fine with them making more stuff like this. The original Terror Train is one of my favorites, so I went into this with very low expectations. However, it managed to be better than it had any right to be. It starts as a very close remake (set on Halloween instead of New Year’s Eve), but it starts to change things just enough to let you know the plot twist will be a little different this time. Worth a watch for slasher fans.

House of Wax (2005) – 5/10 – OK, I know everybody hated this movie when it came out, but I thought it was actually not terrible this time. It feels very 2005, whether that’s a good or bad thing. I personally have found myself to be more tolerant (maybe nostalgic?) for some of the early-aughts stuff I’ve revisited lately. And I know a lot of the hate involved Paris Hilton, but honestly her character is barely even in the film.

2022 Halloween Marathon: Week 7 Reviews

Here are some quick reviews from this week’s movies. Check out the full schedule here.

Midnight Club (2022) – 8/10 – I’m going to rank this one right behind Mike Flanagan’s last three series: The Haunting of Hill House (10/10), The Haunting of Bly Manor (9/10), and Midnight Mass (8.5/10). That being said, this one has the possibility of continuing beyond this season, so that could changes things later.

This definitely wasn’t a fun, Halloween-time watch. I think in the darker, colder days of January and February, I likely would’ve enjoyed it a little more. Still, I’m giving it an 8/10 because I think it’s really good.

Flanagan can tell great stories, and we’re all benefiting from his relationship with Netflix. (I’m really looking forward to his House of Usher and wish that could’ve been the October release, but I’m guessing we’ll see that in the spring.) I could even see someone liking Midnight Club better than Midnight Mass, especially if he or she grew up reading Christopher Pike’s books (which I didn’t). But to me, if I had to start one of the four series over again right now, I’d choose one of the other three.

I thought last year’s Fear Street 1994 did a pretty good job with the music, so I was anxious to see how Midnight Club handled that. The mid-’90s was a crucial time for me as both a music fan and as a songwriter in the beginning stage of starting to figure things out. And Midnight Club almost nails it. I heard old favorites and was reminded of songs I hadn’t heard or thought about in over 20 years. (You guys remember The Flys??)

But yeah, my number one complaint about the entire series, the thing I’ve texted friends about the most so far, involves a song from 1997 being used solely for its emotional impact. (I won’t name the song in case anyone might see that as a spoiler, but Flanagan addresses his decision to use it here.)

Otherwise, if you like Flanagan’s work, Christopher Pike’s books, music from 1994, ghost stories, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, and/or good (and sometimes fun) storytelling, you’ll likely dig this.

The Curse of Bridge Hollow (2022) – 5/10 – This was totally fine for throwing on the TV and watching as a family. I love Rob Riggle, so that was a plus for me. It’s always fun to see John Michael Higgins pop up. And Marlon Wayans and all the others were fine. It has some fun moments, especially if you like Halloween decorations, and it’s 10 times better than that Spirit Halloween movie that I tried to watch and turned off after 15 minutes.

2022 Halloween Marathon: Week 6 Reviews

Here are some quick reviews from this week’s movies. Check out the full schedule here.

We made it halfway through Midnight Club this week, so I’ll add my full thoughts for that show with next week’s reviews. But since we got to watch Halloween Ends on Peacock a little earlier than expected, I’ll focus on that here…

Halloween Ends (2022) – 8/10* – This is a tough one to rate. It is not at all what I was expecting as the last installment of this trilogy, and it feels a lot like the original Halloween III (1982), which I love, or Zombie’s Halloween II (2009), which I hate. Meaning, it just doesn’t really fit here. As a Halloween movie, I’d give it a 6/10. Which is still way better than Zombie’s sequel (0/10 forever).

Now, as a 2022 slasher, or even as something like a Halloween spinoff, it’s actually really cool. I’ll watch again this weekend for sure, but after my initial viewing, I’d give it an 8/10. It looks GREAT. It FEELS like Halloween. And most importantly, it’s simply better than most horror stuff that comes out these days. And while I was in a constant state of asking what the heck was happening in my Halloween sequel/finale, I was never bored, even with a longer running time (1:51??) than I like to see.

Don’t listen to what others are saying, but also don’t expect a movie like the previous two. Just be ready for a crazy film about a slasher killing people in Haddonfield on Halloween.

Sleeping With the Enemy (1991) – 8/10 – I’m watching these “yuppie nightmares” to follow along with the Gourley & Rust podcast (see Pacific Heights from Week 4 and the review below this one), and it’s been really fun revisiting this stuff. (There are a few later that I either haven’t seen or don’t remember.) I mostly remembered this one, but it was a lot of fun to see it for the first time in maybe 20 years. It seemed short to me (I always expect these things to drag on), with only a few little plot issues, which is always good. And it’s just a great movie overall, with the ability to appeal to fans of multiple genres.

The Hand That Rocks the Cradle (1992) – 8.5/10 – This has been my favorite one to revisit so far, and I think a lot of the credit goes to Ernie Hudson. I don’t think I appreciated his contributions when I watched this as a kid, but he really steals the show, in my opinion. (I haven’t heard G&R’s episode of this one yet, but I’m hoping they feel the same.) The acting is really good all around, in my opinion, and while I have a few more issues with the plot for this one, it’s still got more enough going for it to help me ignore some of the silly details.

2022 Halloween Marathon: Week 5 Reviews

Here are some quick reviews from this week’s movies. Check out the full schedule here.

Tricks or Treats (1982) – 3/10 – This really wants to be Halloween, but instead of Carpenter’s score and Blue Oyster Cult we get stuff that sounds more like Vince Guaraldi and bad early-’80s pop music. The acting is rough at times, and the plot is a bit absurd. (More people hiring babysitters ON Halloween night??) But it’s still a 1982 slasher film set on Halloween night, and there are some really cool visuals, including the classic Beistle decorations. There are also a ton of trick-or-treaters, which is always good, and the jerk kid has a great record collection. Overall though, it’s mostly boring.

Cemetery del Terror (1985) – 3/10 – This one also wants to be Halloween and even has a shady version of Loomis! My favorite thing about it is the one character who keeps telling everyone that she had tickets for “the rock concert” tonight. She never tells us who was playing at the rock concert. It was likely just printed as “ROCK CONCERT” on the tickets. At least the deranged killer does start to get busy around halfway through, but it’s mostly just boring attempts at gore and not much creativity. And the music… Anything that sounds decent is ripped off from Halloween and other movies, but most of it is just generic ’80s crap. Then there’s the end, which just spirals out of control, with hand-to-hand combat between the killer and fake Loomis. It’s a ride, but often not a fun one.

Not a great couple of weeks, but things should pick up now!

2022 Halloween Marathon: Week 4 Reviews

Here are some quick reviews from this week’s movies. Check out the full schedule here.

Watcher (2022) – 4/10 – I can appreciate a slow burn, but only if the plot makes sense. And I feel bad that this is the actress from It Follows, which I hated, because it’s nothing that she is doing. The story is just way more infuriating than it is scary. You think a guy’s watching you. Your husband doesn’t believe you. Make a decision. It’s not that hard. (To be fair, I liked this way more than I liked It Follows.)

Raven’s Hollow (2022) – 2/10 – Well, this looked OK. And that’s about all I can say. The story was such a mess, and I really had no idea what was happening. You can skip this one!

Pacific Heights (1990) – 7.5/10 – Not technically a horror movie, I guess, but the roaches alone justify it being included here for me. Still, like Watcher, at some point you just need to make a decision to walk away. I’m all about a good fight, but I also have better things to do.

2022 Halloween Marathon: Week 3 Reviews

Here are some quick reviews from this week’s movies. Check out the full schedule here.

Hatchet (2006) – 9/10 – It’s always fun to re-visit this one. All we want from our slashers is a fun setup, a good back story that inspires some kind of revenge, and then quick, creative ways of taking characters out. Of course Adam Green always delivers in every way.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) – 5/10 – This is not nearly as bad as people made it out to be, and I don’t know what more anyone would expect from a TCM sequel in 2022. Sally Hardesty as a Texas Ranger wanna-be Laurie Strode is OK. And while I don’t necessarily love the whole plot that brings the people to Texas in the first place, it really doesn’t matter in the end. They’re here, and Leatherface is inspired to do great things again. Oh, and they’re all idiots. (Question: Have they ever offered Adam Green a TCM sequel? Cause that would be amazing.)

2022 Halloween Marathon: Week 2 Reviews

Here are some quick reviews from this week’s movies. Check out the full schedule here.

The Fog (1980) – 9/10 – A Carpenter classic, with excellent atmosphere, acting, and music, as always. Tom Atkins is great at a lot of things, but talking on the phone may be his best acting move. If I were writing a script, I’d add some phone scenes just to get him to join the cast.

The Fog (2005) – 3/10 – “Well, we finished shooting our remake of The Fog. And although it’s probably almost perfect, I’m worried that it may fall just short of Carpenter’s classic. We need one more thing to put us over the top, something at the very beginning, just to let people know that this isn’t 1980 and Tom Atkins and Jamie Lee Curtis. This is 2005. Wait, I got it! FALL OUT BOY!” I guess?

2022 Halloween Marathon: Week 1 Reviews

Here are some quick reviews from this week’s movies. Check out the full schedule here.

Psycho (1960) – 10/10 – According to this online inflation calculator that I just used, the $40,000 that Marion stole would be $400,000 today. Also, I like that she does the math to discover that $40,000 minus $700 means that she’ll have to pay back $700.

Psycho II (1983) – 8/10 – Such a great sequel. And the diner has it all: good food, great arcade games, and Norman Bates chopping the lettuce.

Psycho III (1986) – 4/10 – Definitely the low point of the franchise (assuming we never mention the 1987 Bates Motel TV movie/pilot, which we won’t). It’s still not completely terrible, and it adds some good bits to the Psycho story.

Psycho IV (1990) – 8/10 – I love a good prequel, so add in Henry Thomas and Olivia Hussey, two of my favorite actors, and I’m in. As someone who listened to a lot of talk radio in the ’80s and ’90s, I really like that aspect of the plot as well. You can see a lot of the Bates Motel TV series’ origins here, which is a lot of fun.

Day Shift (2022) – 6/10 – More action than horror, but it’s fun at times. I found myself wishing it’d taken a little more inspiration from I Am Legend, and then I realized that I could just watch (or read) I Am Legend.

2022 Halloween Horror Movie Marathon

As requested by no one, we’re bringing back the Halloween Horror Movie Marathon for 2022! Beginning this weekend, we’ll be watching and discussing horror movies through Halloween. We have two movies picked for each weekend (with a few exceptions) and will watch a bunch of other stuff in between.

I’ll have weekly posts with quick reviews for each film that we watch, starting at the end of this post for Week 1. I’ll also be around on Facebook and Twitter if anyone wants to discuss any of the movies.

Like last year, a lot of the films we’ve picked will be available on the Shudder streaming service. If you’re a horror fan and aren’t a regular subscriber, I’d recommend adding it, at least for the next couple of months!

Here is the planned schedule.

September 2-4: Psycho (1960), Psycho II (1983), Psycho III (1986), Psycho IV (1990)

September 9-11: The Fog (1980), The Fog (2005)

September 16-18: Hatchet (2006), Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

September 23-25: Watcher (2022), Raven’s Hollow (2022)

September 30 – October 2: Trick or Treats (1982), Cemetery of Terror (1985)

October 7-9: Midnight Club (2022 – Netflix series)

October 14-16: Halloween (2018), Halloween Kills (2021), Halloween Ends (2022)

October 21-23: The Last Drive-in 2022 Halloween Special (Double Feature TBA – Shudder live event!)

October 28-30: The Monster Squad (1987), He Knows You’re Alone (1980)

2021 Halloween Marathon: Final Reviews

We’ve finally reached the end! If you’re just checking in for the Christmas content and are interested in the horror movies we’ve been watching over the last couple of months, be sure to check out the full schedule here.

Sleepy Hollow (1999) – 7/10 – If I remove this film from the story that I love so much, I think it’s fine, and it certainly looks great. I also like the slight nods to the original text and even the Disney cartoon. That being said, I don’t like most of the changes, and I think it certainly could’ve been as effective with a more faithful adaptation. I also wish they had found a way to film it in or near Sleepy Hollow. Still, it’s fine to watch every few years.

Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981) – 8/10 – This is easily the best made-for-TV horror movie ever. I’m kind of surprised that we haven’t seen a big studio come in and remake this one. It does look like there’s an indie sequel, or maybe it’s in production. But I’d love to see an update of this one, similar to what they did with the great My Bloody Valentine remake.

Thanks to everyone who has been following along! Today we’ll be watching Charlie Brown, Garfield, and a bunch more before heading out to trick or treat. But then we’ll be launching the first new episode of our Christmas podcast! See you soon…

2021 Halloween Marathon: Week 8 Reviews

We’ve finally reached Halloween weekend! In addition to working on launching Season Three of our podcast, we’ll be watching movies all weekend. If you’re just checking in for the Christmas content and are interested in the horror movies we’ve been watching every weekend, be sure to check out the full schedule here.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) – 8/10 – Aside from the original, this is the only Elm Street film I ever really choose to watch. I love the idea of the dream warriors, the kills are great, and the music is super fun.

Friday the 13th Part III (1982) – 10/10 – Another perfect slasher. No offense to the previously mentioned Elm Street movie, the third Halloween that I’ve talked about growing to love, or even Return of the Jedi or the final Back to the Future, but this is my favorite Part III.

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986) – 10/10 – While Part IV was such a great way to wrap up the original Jason trilogy, Part V was a goofy mess. But Tom McLoughlin nailed this one, bringing Jason back where he belongs. It’s one of the funniest scripts in the series, and it even puts kids at the camp for the first time.

2021 Halloween Marathon: Week 7 Reviews

Be sure to check out the full schedule here.

Halloween Kills (2021) – 10/10 – Once again, they gave us exactly what we wanted, a perfect slasher with a bunch of characters from the original film. Only this time, they didn’t even have to kill Michael since we already know the next movie is coming next year. If you see bad reviews for this movie, don’t trust them without seeing it for yourself. If your friends are saying bad things about it, unfriend them. They’re dumb.

Haunt (2018) – 8/10 – I don’t go to these haunted attractions because I’d rather spend a fraction of the money to watch movies instead. I definitely wouldn’t sign a waiver to enter one, nor would I allow them to lock up my cell phone. Therefore, knowing that people do actually do these things, I like this movie a lot because I know I’d never be one of these idiots getting trapped in this place.

House (1985) – 5/10 – I liked this one a lot as a kid, but it definitely doesn’t hold up for me. The effects are great. That’s about it. Another example of a horror comedy without enough horror or comedy.

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) – 7/10 – As a person who kinda believes that we probably peaked as humans sometime around 1997, I don’t know if this film quite holds up the way I thought/hoped it would. I want to make a list of reasons why this could never be set in 2021, but I don’t really have the energy. Instead, I’ll try to check out the first episode of the new TV series and assume that the producers made the list themselves, prompting this updated version.

Chucky, Episode 1 – 4/10 – I’ve actually never been the biggest Child’s Play fan. I think the franchise is generally better than Leprechaun, for example, but nowhere near the upper tier of Halloween and Friday the 13th. Still, I thought this could have potential and ended up being mostly disappointed. If it happens to get decent reviews from people I trust, maybe I’ll try watching the whole season later.

2021 Halloween Marathon: Week 6 Reviews

We’re getting close to Halloween now! Only a few weeks left. Be sure to check out the full schedule here.

This weekend we celebrated the Last Drive-In’s Halloween Hoedown on Shudder. It was a six-hour blast of Halloween fun and included appearances by Jason Blum and David Gordon Green, who discussed the Halloween series and the upcoming Halloween Kills. And of course, there were two movies…

Angel (1983) – 6/10 – I’d been interested in this one, mainly because of the great cast, but I’d never watched it. I was glad to finally have an excuse to sit down and check it out, even if it isn’t a Halloween movie at all and may not have been the best choice for this event. I loved the crazy fight scene toward the end, which kind of came out of nowhere. It was pretty well done, but it was also hilarious. Also, I liked getting a look at L.A. here, since most films like this tend to be set in New York.

Terror Train (1980) – 9/10 – This is one of my favorite slashers and was a great film for this event, even if it also isn’t a Halloween film. If you haven’t seen this one, just know it features David Copperfield and has a pretty crazy twist at the end. I personally think they should’ve done the whole Jamie Lee Curtis 1980 trio, adding The Fog and Prom Night.

Other movies we’ve watched this week…

Muppet Haunted Mansion (2021) – 9/10 – To be clear, I am probably the least qualified person to discuss or review anything Muppet related, aside from maybe Christmas Carol. I was a fan growing up, but I’m not the expert today that many of my friends are. That being said, Haunted Mansion is my favorite Disney ride, I loved this special, and I was so happy to learn it had nothing to do with the Eddie Murphy movie. I’ll definitely watch it again. I know I missed so much the first time, and it’ll probably take several viewings to really take it in.

Witchboard (1986) – 9/10 – This used to be a favorite of mine, but it’s been a long time since I’ve watched it. I was happy to find that it totally holds up today. The storytelling is pretty good, and there are actual attempts at character development without straying too far from the horror. It’s a legitimately creepy film that separates itself from most other mid-80s stuff.

2021 Halloween Marathon: Week 5 Reviews

Here are some quick reviews from this week’s movies. Check out the full schedule here.

The Innkeepers (2011) – 7/10 – When Ti West was releasing films like this one and House of the Devil, we had a horror podcast that focused mainly on slashers. So I likely didn’t quite give West the credit he deserved back then. To me, aside from the stuff Mike Flanagan is doing, this is probably as good as indie ghost movies get right now.

House of Dracula (1945) – 7/10 – This one is better than the two that came right before it (1943’s Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man and 1944’s The House of Frankenstein). You get Dracula, Wolf Man, and Frankenstein all together here, and some of it is genuinely creepy. I think my favorite part is when Talbot asks the doctor for help, and he basically tells him he should just get locked in jail again. And of course, at the end we get another burning castle!

Aside from these movies, I re-watched every single Halloween film. What a week!

Halloween (1978) – 10/10 – Best movie ever. By the way, Lynda’s “totally” count = 7.

Halloween II (1981) – 10/10 – It can’t equal the first one, but then nothing could. All the sequels need to be judged separately. But even without the first film, this is still a near perfect ’80s slasher, and it has everything that makes slashers my favorite subgenre.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) – 8/10 – I’ve probably gone from about a 3/10 to this 8/10 just within the last 10 years or so. I do think it’s a fun horror movie that I used to take for granted back in the day, but I also think it’s completely absurd. However, even at its most ridiculous, it is attempting to deliver horror and not comedy, which I can totally appreciate, even if I do just laugh at most of it.

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) – 10/10 – This is probably the best horror sequel after Friday the 13th II.

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989) – 5/10 – Such a letdown. Imagine if you weren’t invested in these characters from the previous film. It’s pretty bad. How could they mess up a Michael Myers sequel in the ’80s? It was guaranteed to make money, so why not spend whatever it took to get it right? It still gets a 5, if only for Loomis and Michael.

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995) – 6/10 – As disappointed as I am with Revenge, for some reason I kinda like this one. And I don’t think it’s because of Paul Rudd. Maybe it’s because it’s the one that came out right after I turned 18, and I could legally walk up and buy a ticket without my dad or uncle with me. Maybe it’s because of some of the great kills, like the huge slaughter scene. Or maybe it’s the cool Windows 95 thorn screensaver Paul Rudd has. But whatever it is, once you get past the first 20 minutes (and the fact that Danielle Harris was replaced), I’m pretty into it. OK, maybe it’s Paul Rudd.

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998) – 8/10 – This is Rusty’s favorite title of the series, and it’s also a really fun movie. Michael has the determination he showed in Curse, but we get to skip all of the crazy thorn stuff this time.

Halloween: Resurrection (2002) – 5/10 – Unlike Curse, the whole extended intro is the best part of this one. Once we get to the reality TV show stuff, it’s just disappointing. There was so much potential, but they blew it, and now it just feels outdated.

Halloween (2007) – 8/10 – I might not agree with all of Rob Zombie’s decisions, but I definitely appreciate what he tried to do with it. It’s a bit too long for me, especially the long ending. But it’s a really good remake/reboot overall.

Halloween II (2009) – 1/10 – I just hate it. This is the third time I’ve watched it, after the theatrical release and a podcast review. I want to like it. But unfortunately, it’s really really bad.

Halloween (2018) – 10/10 – As good as Zombie’s 2007 remake is, I think this one is even better. It’s honestly everything we could’ve hoped for. Can’t wait for the new one next week!

2021 Halloween Marathon: Week 4 Reviews

Here are some quick reviews from this week’s movies. Check out the full schedule here.

Trick ‘r Treat (2007) – 10/10 – A perfect Halloween film and a perfect anthology. It just looks, sounds, and feels like Halloween. In fact, stop reading this, and go watch it twice.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019) – 9/10 – We waited a long time for this one, and I feel like it is almost perfect. It isn’t quite the anthology that I think we were all expecting, and I personally could’ve used a few more of the stories/characters after waiting so long. But as a huge fan of the books, I think it’s pretty good for what it is. I’ll watch it multiple times each year, and I can’t wait for the sequel.

The Stuff (1985) – 4/10 – Everybody has to eat shaving cream once in a while…

Creepshow S3E1 (2021) – 6/10 – “Mums” was a 7/10. It’s a perfect length, and I like Ethan Embry. “Queen Bee” is more like a 4 or a 5, although the effects are great. It could’ve been a 10-minute short.

Horror Hall of Fame Awards (1990) – 9/10 – Thanks to Dinosaur Dracula and the Purple Stuff Podcast for covering this on the last episode. Look this up on YouTube if you haven’t seen it. Robert Englund, Jason, Chucky, the Cryptkeeper, and others all make appearances in this live awards show that actually aired on TV. The YouTube version even leaves in a few horror-related commercials, such as Elvira selling Mug Root Beer.

The final four movies were part of Elvira’s 40th Anniversary, Very Scary, Very Special Special that aired on Shudder this weekend.

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988) – 5/10 – Although this horror comedy doesn’t have quite enough horror or comedy, there are some fun moments, and the effects are pretty good.

House on Haunted Hill (1959) – 7/10 – I hate to spoil a film that is more than 60 years old, but my main issue with this one is always that nothing is really “haunted.” It’s kinda like a Scooby Doo episode, with some real killing, of course. Fun story, good acting. Probably a blast to watch in a theater at the time.

The City of the Dead (1960) – 5/10 – This was my first time seeing this one. The witch story is definitely cool, but it’s really slow. While it shares a few similarities with Psycho, it doesn’t come close as an overall film. Mostly, even for a 1960 horror film about a witch from 1692, the plot is just absurd.

Messiah of Evil (1973) – 2/10 – What a way to close out a four-film marathon on a Saturday night/Sunday morning. To say this is a terrible movie is an understatement. Every scene leaves you going, “Wait… what?” There are many scenes thrown in that have nothing to do with the rest of the film, so trying to keep it all together is difficult enough. But then even the main story itself is just insane. In the end, unlike The Stuff or other awful films that I can watch repeatedly, this is something that I’ll never need to watch again.

2021 Halloween Marathon: Week 3 Reviews

Here are some quick reviews from this week’s movies. Check out the full schedule here.

The House of the Devil (2009) – 7/10 – This one has become an annual fall watch for me, even if it’s not a perfect film. I like the acting, the setting, and the music here, and while “devil” movies just aren’t really my thing, this is one of the best recent attempts.

Happy Birthday to Me (1981) – 8/10 – This is a classic slasher that all horror fans should see. The twist at the end is insane, and the running time is way too long, but it’s a fun movie. I think this is the first time that I realized that these kids are in high school. I always assumed it was college, with all the drinking and some of the actors clearly being in their mid-20s. But as we know, 1981 was a different time, and high school kids could apparently openly drink at the local tavern and jump bridges in their cars.

Candyman (2021) – 3/10 – This wasn’t a lot of fun for me. It looks and sounds fine, but the story is an absolute mess. I would need an hour-long podcast to explain all my issues with the writing. Just watch the original.

2021 Halloween Marathon: Week 2 Reviews

Here are some quick reviews from this week’s movies. Check out the full schedule here.

Carrie (1976) – 9/10 – Way more slapping than you probably remember. Girls slapping boys, boys slapping girls, teachers slapping kids. No one can talk to each other in this movie. They just slap. Slapping aside, it’s still pretty great.

Martyrs Lane (2021) – 6/10 – Slow burn that is more suspense than horror. Good story and good use of a low budget.

Malignant (2021) – 6/10 – I’ve seen some terrible reviews of this one, including people who are saying they turned it off halfway through. But the final act is crazy! Make sure you stick around.

Sometimes They Come Back… Again (1996) – 3/10 – Steven Keaton from Family Ties + a young Hilary Swank + typical CGI effects and acting for mid-’90s low budget horror sequels = exactly what you’d expect.

Sometimes They Come Back… For More (1998) – 1/10 – This is one of the worst movies you would ever see if you were crazy enough to watch it. How in the world did we get from a pretty good Stephen King adaptation to whatever this is in only three installments? I assume this was one of those cases where a movie was written and possibly even filmed before being acquired by the studio as a “sequel.”

2021 Halloween Horror Marathon

As we start to prepare for the third season of our Christmas podcast, we’ll also be doing a fun Halloween celebration this year! Beginning this weekend, we’ll be watching and discussing horror movies through Halloween. We have two movies picked for each weekend (plus a full Halloween series marathon to kick off October) and will watch a bunch of other stuff in between.

I’ll post my quick review for each film that we watch in weekly posts, starting at the end of this post for Week 1, and I’ll also be around on Facebook and Twitter if anyone wants to discuss any of the movies. We could even do a live chat one night or a live screening, like we did with our holiday marathon last year, if anyone is interested.

A lot of the films we’ve picked will be available on the Shudder streaming service. If you’re a horror fan and aren’t a regular subscriber, I’d recommend adding it, at least for October.

Here is the planned schedule. Scroll down below for ratings and comments!

September 3-5: Poltergeist (1982), Don’t Breathe 2 (2021)

September 10-12: Carrie (1976), Martyrs Lane (2021)

September 17-19: Happy Birthday to Me (1981), The House of the Devil (2009)

September 24-26: Trick ‘r Treat (2007), Scary Stories To Tell in the Dark (2019)

October 1-3: Halloween complete series marathon (all films from 1978-2018!)

October 8-10: Joe Bob’s Halloween Hoedown (Double Feature TBA – Shudder live event)

October 15-17: Halloween Kills (2021), Haunt (2019)

October 22-24: Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982), Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3 (1987)

October 29-31: Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981), Sleepy Hollow (1999)

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Week 1 Reviews

Poltergeist (1982) – 9/10 – This is the first time we really noticed the weird cut scene, where they’re in the middle of a sentence in the kitchen and are then suddenly knocking on a neighbor’s door. It’s bizarre. Plus, don’t take a bath in the haunted house you’re about to leave. (That may actually even be a film title from the early ’80s.)

Don’t Breathe 2 (2021) – 7/10 – If you liked the first one, you’ll probably dig this. It looks pretty good, especially the scenes in the house, but the story is kind of out there. At this point, I think I’d like it more if the guy could see, although I realize that’d make it similar to countless other movies. This was fun enough.

Sometimes They Come Back (1991) – 8/10 – I forgot how much I liked this one. As much as I love Stephen King, the movies can be hit or miss, but Tom McLouhglin made a good one here. I also forgot about the weird roaring sounds throughout the film. What is that? (I think I’m going to watch the two sequels now. I don’t think I’ve seen either of them, and they both look terrible!)