2023 Halloween Marathon: Week 4 Reviews

Check out the full schedule for our horror movie marathon here.

*The Visitor (1979) – 3/10 – I don’t know if I would’ve liked this in 1979, but it didn’t age very well. The writing is bad, and the music is really hard to take. A kid with telekinetic powers affecting the outcome of a basketball game is even cooler than a firestarter! So it had potential. But she’s not the best child actor they could’ve found. And for every bald alien in this film, there are three awful songs that sound like they should be on the Electric Company or something. There’s a fun ice skating scene (in a mall!) that shows how cool this could’ve been. Look it up on YouTube. The rest kinda stinks.

*Nightmare Cinema (2018) – 6/10 – This is a decent anthology with contributions from Mick Garris, Joe Dante, Richard Christian Matheson, Mickey Rourke, Patrick Wilson, and others. The first segment is a slasher that transitions into a sci-fi creature thing, and it’s my favorite by far (and bumps this from a 5 to a 6). The rest are all fine compared to most modern horror anthologies and feature botched plastic surgeries, Catholic school demonic possessions, etc.

Suspiria (1977) – 8/10 – I saw this was on Tubi and clicked on it, and then we realized my wife had never seen it. However, she fell asleep shortly after it started, so now she thinks it’s just a dumb movie about some weird dancers who fight a lot and argue about money.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988) – 5/10 – My wife didn’t believe that a man could be killed with pies, but then she saw it with her own eyes.

*The Return of the Vampire (1943) – 5/10 – Svengoolie’s weekly film. Apparently this was supposed to be a Dracula sequel, but Universal wouldn’t allow it, so it’s just Bela Lugosi as a TOTALLY different vampire and definitely NOT Dracula. It’s a shame this one wasn’t a Universal Dracula because the story is better than some of the actual sequels.

*Natty Knocks (2023) – 3/10 – This is directed by Dwight Little, who made Halloween 4, a film I love way more than anyone probably should. Plus, Halloween 4’s Danielle Harris is here, along with Robert Englund! One thing we know is that Little can do small-town Halloween, and he does that well again here. But that’s about it. While most of this is average for low budget modern horror, the kids’ ages are the most difficult part to accept. There is a teenage girl who is supposed to be in elementary school (I think), and then there are older teens who (I think) are supposed to be in middle school, all requiring the babysitter, who is in her 20s but in high school.

* = first watch

2023 Halloween Marathon: Week 3 Reviews

Check out the full schedule for our horror movie marathon here.

Final Exam (1981) – 6/10 – Starting your film with a mass shooting fraternity prank doesn’t hold up very well in 2023. But I love 1981 horror, and this is a fun slasher. Unfortunately, it takes a good hour or so for the actual slashing. The music rips off Halloween a lot, but I’d rather you rip off Halloween than create something new that’s bad.

The Faculty (1998) – 7/10 – Haven’t seen this one in a long time, possibly since the theater. Being more of a horror fan than sci-fi, I always remembered thinking it was good for the genre, but I don’t remember ever revisiting it. I absolutely did not remember all of the talent that had been gathered for such a silly film that had no right to be good, but they pulled it off. It’s pretty fun. Is this considered the Scream of sci-fi? Cause it should be, right?

*The Passenger (2023) – 8/10 – Not exactly horror, but more of a slow, tense thriller that’s close enough. I was interested in this one as a Blumhouse indie film shot in New Orleans, and it’s pretty good. I’d like to take a minute here to update my stance on Kyle Gallner, who became something of a joke on our horror podcast like 10-12 years ago. I don’t even really remember what movies we didn’t like him in (maybe Red State and the Elm Street remake?), but he’s been good in everything I’ve seen him in since back then. And his sweater/jacket thing in this movie is pretty awesome.

*Children of the Corn (2023) – 3/10 – This is not a good movie; however, people who are saying it’s the worst of the sequels have obviously never watched any of the sequels. Cause honestly, it might actually be the best one. That’s how bad those films are, you guys. Part II with the dad and the son running around Gatlin like idiots? The Gathering with Naomi Watts? Revelation with Crystal Lowe? They’re everything that’s bad about ’90s and early aughts horror. This one is definitely stupid, and it has little to do with Stephen King’s masterpiece. Still, it’s at least watchable, and they do something different with He Who Walks Behind the Rows.

*The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon, “L’âme Perdue” (2023) – 2/10 – This was screened during another bonus/surprise episode of The Last Drive-In (two weeks in a row!), thanks to AMC trying its best to capitalize on the coolest thing it controls (yet relegates to a streaming service that most people don’t know about). The special itself was fun, as always, but I couldn’t be any less interested in anything Walking Dead related these days. This episode had one good part, which can be summarized in two words: nun fight.

* = first watch

2023 Halloween Marathon: Week 2 Reviews

Check out the full schedule for our horror movie marathon here.

*Flesh for Frankenstein (1973) – 5/10 – This is wacky, but it could’ve been worse. I liked the castle and the atmosphere (the bats were really cool), and the final scene is pretty great.

*Blood for Dracula (1974) – 3/10 – OK, this one is not very good, and it’s longer. Flesh for Frankenstein at least has something of a plot to work with. This one is really just Dracula trying to marry one of four sisters for an entire movie. Also, while Frankenstein’s movie is set in his castle, here we see Dracula leave Transylvania, and the whole film takes place in an Italian house that is supposedly falling apart. Ultimately, it’s hard to tell which character is the biggest idiot, and I think the answer is that they’re all tied for first place.

Night of the Demons (1988) – 5/10 – This was screened in a surprise Last Drive-In special on Shudder (Live From the Jamboree) this weekend, and the special itself was definitely a 10/10. However, no matter how many times I watch this movie, I just can’t fully get into it. It’s obviously fun at times, and the music cracks me up. But some people consider it to be a classic, and I don’t think I’ll ever get there.

*Cobweb (2023) – 4/10 – I was looking forward to this one, and it was a letdown. Reviews are comparing it to Goosebumps, which is fine with me, but I hate movies with terrible parents, and no one prepared me for that. Surprisingly, I thought the final act was the best part by far, while reviews are saying the ending is weak. I really liked the music and all the Halloween spirit, but I feel like it was all wasted here. This is the worst I’ve ever seen from both Lizzy Caplan and Anthony Starr.

*The War of the Gargantuas (1966) – 4/10 – Svengoolie’s weekly movie. This is hilarious, and the gargantuas are like a combination of ewoks, the baby Grinch from the Jim Carrey movie, and the Jolly Green Giant. Brown is good, green is bad, and the overdubs are awful. Definitely worth watching once, especially with Svengoolie.

House of Dracula (1945) – 7/10 – I like this one and go to it often for a number of reasons. First, it’s under 70 minutes. Also, it’s very “doctor-y,” and I love when they really dig into the funny science in these things. But most importantly, you get multiple monsters at once, including (eventually) Frankenstein, who is my favorite. Perfect for football pre-game.

* = first watch

2023 Halloween Marathon: Week 1 Reviews

Check out the full schedule for our horror movie marathon here.

*The Haunting of Julia (1977) – 4/10 – There weren’t a whole lot of ghosts in this ghost movie. And there weren’t enough creepy kids for it to be an effective creepy kid movie. I don’t know how they got Mia Farrow, but she couldn’t really save it.

*A Ghost Story (2017) – 5/10 – As I said on a recent bonus episode, I realized too late that this one isn’t a horror film. Even worse, it’s a total bummer. It’s a fine movie if you’re trying to have an emo Halloween. If you’re here for fun, skip this one!

*The Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023) – 6/10 – I guess this is about what I expected. It looks fine and was OK to watch once, but I don’t know that I’d ever want to revisit it. We had some complaints about the story and mainly that Dracula is only a creature here, although his human form would’ve worked at different points along the way. If they’re setting this up for a franchise, I’d likely watch the sequels.

Frankenstein (1931) – 9/10 – This was the weekly Svengoolie movie.

*The Boogeyman (2023) – 5/10 – This really should’ve been better, but I guess I’ll take what I can get with a film that tries to turn a Stephen King story into The Babadook. My main concern is that these movie psychiatrists always have home offices, constantly putting their families at risk. Maybe it’s not such a good idea, guys.

*Lovers Lane (1999) – 2/10 – The Hook Killer is one of my favorite urban legends, and I was cautiously optimistic when I discovered this recently. But yeah, it’s bad ’90s horror at its best/worst. The people making these awful ’90s movies knew about Scream, right? Or even I Know What You Did Last Summer or Urban Legends? This one is more like those terrible Cruel Intentions sequels, and it makes Jack Frost look like Carpenter’s Halloween. You should get a prize if you make it to the end. (Note: At least one of the actresses was actually in Cruel Intentions 2. She was also in Devil in the Flesh 2. That’s what we’re dealing with here.)

*Pin (1988) – 7/10 – Maybe I liked this more because Lovers Lane was so bad. It’s not a great movie; some of the acting could certainly be better, and the music is a distraction. But it’s fun and kinda creepy. I was expecting bowling horror and got ventriloquism instead. If you liked Terry O’Quinn in The Stepfather, his character here is very similar. And we’ll see David Hewlett again soon in Cube.

* = first watch