Some Christmas Music I Discovered in 2023

Our Christmas playlists are filled with hours of favorite songs, and honestly most new stuff is terrible. So it’s often difficult to discover fun Christmas music that we haven’t heard before.

However, as we discussed on the show, both Rusty and I did make a bit of an effort this year, by listening to some new playlists and, for me, satellite radio stations.

As a result, here are a few things that I’m glad I found this year!

1. Saturday’s Children – “Christmas Sounds” (1966)

This is a 1960s Beatles/Stones-inspired band from Chicago, and this song is amazing. I listened to it like 10 times in a row, cause that ending just kept making me want to play it again each time. This is the B-side to a track called “Deck Five,” which is a take on “Deck the Halls” and is also pretty good. I will spend most of 2024 digging through 45s in random Nashville record stores until I finally give up next November and drop $20 for the thing on eBay.

2. The Caroleer Singers – “The Christmas Stocking” (1973?)

Who knows what’s even happening here? Who are these people? When was this released? (It looks like maybe 1973, but who knows if that’s the first release?) Is it good? I have no idea. But as I’ve said on the show throughout this year, I’ve been digging through a lot of ’60s and ’70s tracks, and there is a ton of stuff like this out there. This particular song is all about the different types of stocking people use, and I think that’s fun (and also weird, although “fun” and “weird” are often interchangeable here at Snow in Southtown). Did I recently buy this LP on eBay? Yes, I did. Does it have another track called “There’s a Hole in My Christmas Stocking”? Yes, it does. The Caroleer Singers like stockings, OK guys? As of now, it looks like we might be covering all ’70s stuff for Season 6, so you could be hearing me talk a lot about the Caroleer Singers and other weird stuff like this.

3. “Rare Christmas Songs” Playlist

Rusty sent me this, and I’ve been listening a little bit. As Rusty said on the show, the mix contains a wide range of stuff. There are some songs that I wouldn’t consider “rare” (such as The Ventures’ “Sleigh Ride” or Nightmare Before Christmas tracks), but then there are things that none of us have ever heard (check out The Julekalender’s “Støveldance“). It’s funny that there are multiple versions of “Christmas Island” here, because I’ve never really thought much of that one until it was released on the new Bing Crosby collection this year. Now suddenly it’s everywhere. Also, this playlist contains a lot of songs by…

4. Ray Conniff

I don’t know what happened in 2023, but it’s the year where I started hearing Ray Conniff all the time. The music has always been around, but this year it was very noticeable. As I said on the show, I don’t know anything about these people, but they sound (to me) like adult people at a party, excited to have babysitters, just singing songs cause they’re happy… Yet, they also kinda sound like the ’60s Christmas version of the Black Eye Peas, just a super hyped group of musicians, bringing the energy to whatever they do. I bought one CD (the album from 1962), and I think every single track is in the Christmas radio rotation. And there were still songs that I hear on the radio that weren’t on this album, mainly “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” So I’ll be digging more into Ray Conniff next year for sure.

5. Richard Marx – “Christmas Spirit” (2012)

I started following Richard Marx on social media a few years ago when he participated in an awesome songwriting project that our friend Vance DeGeneres was doing with Rick Springfield during the pandemic, and he’s pretty fun on social media. He recently announced that his 2012 Christmas album was being released on vinyl, and it was cool to see him, a rock star who ruled MTV for a while, so genuinely excited about the candy cane swirl vinyl. I checked out the album as a result, and it was mostly what I expected. But a few songs actually stood out, especially the title track, which is as good as pretty much any new holiday radio song from the last 20 years. If you’re into the pop Christmas stuff by Kelly Clarkson, Arianna Grande, etc., give this one a listen.

Bonus: Bobby Lloyd & the Skeletons – “Do You Hear What I Hear/You Really Got Me” (1996)

I do not necessarily like the song “Do You Hear What I Hear?” However, I love the Kinks. So do I like this mashup? I don’t even know. It’s weird. Yet I found myself listening to it a few times. It’s just over two minutes, which is always good. I suppose after Bing’s, this is the version of “Do You Hear…” that I would choose to listen to from now on. How long until I do this with a Christmas song and a Weezer song?

A few others that I enjoyed finding:

The Screaming Jacksons – “We Three Ships“
Root Boy Slim and the Sex Change Band – “Xmas at K-Mart“
Scoopski – “Xmas Eve in the Mall“

Interview: Linus van Pelt

This interview with Linus was featured in our latest zine, which hit mailboxes this week. We hope everyone has a great Christmas! If you’re interested in receiving future zines, be sure to reach out to us.

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Linus van Pelt is best known as Charlie Brown’s best friend in the Peanuts comic strips and specials. He is generally considered to be a good guy, and his Peanuts wiki describes him as “kind” and “caring.” But… is he? After taking a closer look at some of the evidence, we had some tough questions for Linus to answer.

Snow in Southtown: Thanks for joining us, Linus. I know some of this might be tough to discuss, and I appreciate that you’re here to at least tell your side. But here at Snow in Southtown, a hard-hitting true crime kind of podcast, we’ve uncovered some crucial evidence that allegedly proves you’re not the wise, kind-hearted soul people have made you out to be. In fact, in many ways, you might kind of be a selfish jerk. Do you have any general thoughts about this before we dig into the evidence?

Linus: While I live my life to the best of my ability and hope that others find me to be an upright person, I cannot help what others think of me, and I cannot change who I am simply because of their thoughts. To quote the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu, “Care about what other people think, and you will always be their prisoner.”

Snow in Southtown: OK, but last Thanksgiving, your buddy Charlie Brown found himself in a tough situation when your friend group decided to hold a Friendsgiving event at Charlie’s house. The problem is that his parents (as usual) were not going to be around to help host this event. Yet YOU told him it would be fine. You said he could serve toast and popcorn as a Thanksgiving MEAL. Have you actually HAD a Thanksgiving meal? Did you honestly believe that your friends would’ve been OK with this stuff being served?

Linus: Toast and popcorn could have been a grand banquet among imaginative children, especially since the true feast was our enduring friendship. I encouraged Charlie Brown in organizing this special event, and he proved himself capable — with the help of his dog Snoopy — by pulling it off. I was proud of good ol’ Charlie Brown and the part I played.

Snow in Southtown: As expected, your friends didn’t appreciate it. Why didn’t you give Charlie better advice? Like, I don’t know, maybe, “Have your parents call these kids’ guardians, and tell them that you had other plans”? Maybe you could’ve suggested that he turn it into a potluck. Do you feel slightly responsible for how it all went down?

Linus: I would ask you to take this up with Peppermint Patty, the only person who actually complained, but she apologized when she learned she was in the wrong. I have already forgotten the traditional meal we ate at Charlie Brown’s grandmother’s condominium, but I and everyone present will remember sitting at that ping-pong table forever. As you may have heard, man cannot live by bread alone. This also goes for boys and girls and Thanksgiving meals.

Snow in Southtown: At Christmas, do you feel like you supported Charlie enough when it mattered the most?

Linus: Yep.

Snow in Southtown: I mean, you basically doubted his tree the whole time, and sure, you gave a little speech to try to avoid a nativity rumble. But you really didn’t publicly support him until everyone else decided they liked Charlie’s tree. Could you have been a better friend during the tree selection process itself?

Linus: Charlie Brown is an interesting person, but his behavior doesn’t always translate well in social situations. He ignored the wishes of his friends when choosing a tree, and I tried to talk him out of it to save him even more embarrassment. I personally didn’t care, since I didn’t think we needed a tree at all, aluminum or otherwise. When Charlie Brown started screaming at the cast and projecting his psychological issues onto his friends, I tried to calm poor Charlie Brown down by reminding him of what Christmas was all about. If he weren’t so Charlie Browny, he could have danced and had fun at the rehearsals like everyone else. When I joined in the dancing with everyone else, it was in the hopes that Charlie Brown would follow my lead. When Charlie Brown abandoned the play, we all followed him to make sure he wasn’t alone during this dark moment. I realized the only way to make him feel happy was to resurrect this tree, which had become a symbol for him. I really didn’t think it was such a bad little tree. I wasn’t lying about that. But mostly I was trying to help Charlie Brown. We all were. I don’t like to think of what would have happened to Charlie Brown that night if it weren’t for his good friend Linus.

Snow in Southtown: On Valentine’s Day, Charlie expressed hope for the future, thinking there’s a chance that he could receive more valentines next year. You immediately shut him down and told him not to be so optimistic. What kind of friend even does that?

Linus: Once again, I was helping him. Charlie Brown has unrealistic expectations when it comes to things like valentines and Christmas cards and even mailboxes in general. I once heard that he even waited by his mailbox for Thanksgiving. What was he expecting? A turkey card? Just a little joke, but an original one, if I do say so myself.

Snow in Southtown: OK, how do you feel about making Sally Brown miss tricks or treats last Halloween?

Linus: Sally made the wise decision to wait with me in the pumpkin patch for the Great Pumpkin. It was a sincere pumpkin patch, nothing but sincerity as far as the eye could see, and in spite of her scolding me afterward because she missed tricks or treats, I know that she will think back on the beauty and stillness of that starry night and realize that she would much rather wait with me in the pumpkin patch for the Great Pumpkin next year than participate in the crass practice of begging adults for candy bars, quarters, and packages of gum.

Snow in Southtown: I don’t know. We’ve heard rumors that she will soon be filing a civil suit seeking restitution. Do you agree that you owe her anything?

Linus: Wasn’t it the English poet George Herbert who said, “Speak not of my debts unless you wish to pay them”? Well, wasn’t it?

Snow in Southtown: Who knows. But more importantly, did you eat the candy that your sister collected for you that night? That seems unfair of you, and I believe you should’ve given that candy to Sally. Thoughts?

Linus: It was Sally’s choice to miss tricks or treats, and it was Lucy’s choice to collect candy for me. It would be wrong of me to sully either of their choices by doing otherwise than what I did.

Snow in Southtown: What is your take on last year’s “Easter Beagle” incident? I acknowledge that you kind of got lucky, since technically a beagle did come around throwing eggs. But we all know that it was just Snoopy, the beagle who hangs around with your friends every day. And the eggs were all the ones that your friends had prepared. He stole eggs from you and gave them back. And he’s NOT the Easter Beagle. Have you not learned your lesson about deceiving your friends following the Great Pumpkin debacle?

Linus: “Debacle”?! What do you mean “debacle”? Sure, the Great Pumpkin didn’t visit me this last time, but that doesn’t mean he won’t come. You’ll see. Just like the Easter Beagle came. Why does everyone think something doesn’t exist just because Charlie Brown’s dog happens to be a beagle? There was an Easter Beagle, and there most certainly is a Great Pumpkin! Oh, ye of little faith! Sure, I’d love to see the Great Pumpkin with my own eyes, but blessed are those who do not see and yet believe. What do you even believe in at all, asking these questions? I’d like to know. I’d like to know! I’ll take one more question only.

Snow in Southtown: OK, fine. On New Year’s Eve, while Charlie was on the front porch sleeping, exhausted from reading Tolstoy and cramming for his assignment, YOU danced with his crush! As his best friend, the Little Red-Haired Girl should be off limits, yet you danced with her the first chance you got. Do you have an explanation for this? Are you an animal?

Linus: First, about the book report, I read both War and Peace and Crime and Punishment, on my own, in first grade. I don’t see why Charlie Brown was so overwhelmed when he was assigned these books, something anyone our age should be able to read over a weekend. As for the “little red-haired girl,” I know that Charlie Brown has always admired Heather, but if it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t even know her name. As Charlie Brown’s best friend, I felt it was my duty to dance with Heather in his absence. If he really liked her, he would want her to have fun at the New Year’s dance and not be lonely. But I wonder if he does really like her, and I admit that I worry about Charlie Brown’s unhealthy obsessions. Sigmund Freud was able to distinguish obsession from phobia, but he did find a relationship between the two, and Charlie Brown could have been a textbook patient.

Snow in Southtown: Thanks for your time, Linus. Any final thoughts that you’d like to share to defend yourself?

Linus: In the book of Daniel, when King Nebuchadnezzar threatened to throw Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego into the fiery furnace if they did not bow down to his golden statue, their answer to his threat was, “We have no need to present a defense to you in this matter.” And although I have indeed defended myself today, I did so for anyone else who may find themselves in my situation and not for myself alone. Whether I am delivered from my accusers or not, I will not bow down before their false accusations, which are like idols to them. In the words of Martin Luther at the Diet of Worms, “Here I stand. I can do no other.”

2021 Christmas Horror Fest

If you listened to our podcast this year, especially our Christmas horror episode (S3E7), you’ll know that I didn’t get to a few new horror films that I’d been wanting to watch. So over the next two days, I’ll be watching Christmas horror and will post some quick thoughts here, similar to the marathon we did this fall. I’ll be here through Monday night and will add reviews here as I go.

Black Christmas (1974) – 10/10 – This is my favorite Christmas horror movie, and I usually watch it to wrap up the season each year. If you’ve somehow never watched it, then you should. You can see specific scenes that would inspire Halloween in 1978, while director Bob Clark also shows that can establish a Christmas mood, which would later help his other holiday masterpiece, 1983’s A Christmas Story. For example, I love his house shots at the opening of Black Christmas and the closing of A Christmas Story (picture below). I’ll try to watch the two remakes by tomorrow if I can.

Now I have a confession to make: In our horror episode, we reviewed Deadly Games, and then I talked a bit about The Last Drive In on Shudder. It turns out that I completely missed the Christmas episode of my favorite show last year, where Joe Bob actually showed Deadly Games. (It aired the night that we recorded our last two episodes last year, and I was too busy to catch the archive. I only realized recently that I’d never gone back to it.) The show also screened Christmas Evil (1980) that night, so now I’m finally watching the full double feature…

The Last Drive In: Deadly Games (1989) – 9/10 – Joe Bob Briggs provides a lot of insight into this film that we liked a lot. He explains the Minitel system (probably better than I did), he gives background info on the actors and filmmakers (as usual), and he addresses the film’s similarities with Home Alone. He also extensively analyzes the Bonnie Tyler song, which I appreciated. Up next is Christmas Evil…

Christmas Evil (1980) – 7/10 – I hadn’t seen this one in years, so it was fun to revisit here. I didn’t know the original title was You Better Watch Out, which I personally think is better. I also learned from JBB that podcast favorite John Waters heavily promoted this movie throughout the ’80s and ’90s, helping it find its audience. I honestly liked it more this time, compared to the first couple of times I watched it years ago. The horror aside, there are some great Christmas-y visuals and music. But Harry is also a fun killer Santa, and the ending is amazing. Moving on to newer stuff now…

Silent Night (2021) – 4/10 – Keira Knightley (from our favorite film, Love Actually) hosts a bunch of terrible people (her friends) at her house for Christmas, and everyone knows that an apocalyptic event will kill them all tonight. Well, glad I waited until after Christmas to watch this one. The acting is OK, the music is fine, and it kind of feels like Christmas at times. But no thanks. For a Christmas movie, I’ll take Love Actually over this. The final second is the best part, and if there weren’t kids involved, I’d call it a happy ending.

Black Friday (2021) – 4/10 – OK, it’s not the worst movie ever made, but someone finally made a Black Friday horror movie, and we deserved something much better than this. It’s all the cliches about corporate making money, while minimum wage employees do all the work and sacrifice spending time with their families. And of course, the shoppers are terrible, and becoming zombies only makes them slightly worse. This is everything we’d expect, but it feels like minimum effort from everyone involved, aside from Robert Kurtzman, whose effects are wonderful, as always. This could’ve been a pretty good 25-minute short.

The Advent Calendar (2021) – 5/10 – It’s like the Wishmaster made an advent calendar, and sacrifices have to be made for the protagonist to get the things she wants. It’s not consistently good, but overall it’s pretty fun and mostly kept me interested. Not much of a Christmas movie, aside from taking place in December and being based on an advent calendar.

Christmas Presence (2018) – 4/10 – The script is a mess, the character development is all over the place, and none of it is very interesting, despite all of this being avoidable on any budget. However, the film does manage to create a pretty fun atmosphere, and it had far more scares than any of the three new movies I watched yesterday. Not bad to watch once, alone in the dark.

The Gingerdead Man (2005) – 2/10 – Why did I do this to myself? I’ve seen this movie before. I even owned it at one point. But I’m sorry to let you know that Gary Busey as a killer gingerbread cookie just doesn’t make a good movie, as shocking as that may be. Imagine several adults being trapped in a bakery all night because there is ONE evil gingerbread cookie in there. The best part is that the 70-minute runtime includes 10 minutes of credits.

Anna and the Apocalypse (2017) – 6/10 – This is fine. I totally appreciate the effort, and it was probably a blast to make it. But ultimately it feels like a Disney Channel executive saw Shaun of the Dead and was inspired to make a musical. As a musical, it’s a 7, and as a zombie movie, it’s a 5. The closing titles animation is probably my favorite part.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out (1989) – 2/10 – The original film is a great Christmas slasher, but the sequels are all pretty rough. The first hour of this one is basically people driving and looking for other people. Ricky is back as the killer, and there’s a psychic blind girl who can see what he sees. It’s one of the most boring slashers you’ll ever see. I deserve an award for powering through it.

All the Creatures Were Stirring (2018) – 1/10 – Horror Christmas anthology… of crap. I knew I’d hate this one for a number of reasons and have been putting it off, but I’m kind of glad I finally made myself watch it, just to be fair. The writers/directors know what horror movies are supposed to look like, but they have no idea about how to properly execute it. And I guess doing enough character development for a feature length was too overwhelming, so they squeezed five stories (and the wrap around) into 80 minutes. At one point, and I’m serious, we are watching a movie about people who are watching a movie about a guy who is watching a movie.

To All a Goodnight (1980) – 5/10 – I’d somehow never seen this. It’s kind of like a Black Christmas meets Prom Night or Terror Train, as a sorority Christmas prank goes wrong, and two years later, someone dressed as Santa is killing everyone to get revenge. Veteran horror actor David Hess directed this one, and he clearly struggled with lighting, among other things. But the gore effects are not bad, and there are some fun early slasher archetypes utilized. (Note: Like Friday the 13th, which was released a few months later, this movie has a “crazy” character named Ralph. There is also another similarity between the two films at the end, which I won’t spoil.)

Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984) – 4/10 – This time, the victims are the ones dressed as Santa! The effects aren’t very good in this one, but there are some decent Christmas visuals, and the music is OK sometimes. I’m against guns in slashers, so it loses points there, but things get really weird when the killer takes a Christmas hostage. And then we end up at… a Caroline Munro concert?! I used to think it’d be cool to visit London during Christmastime, but after watching this movie, I think I’ll just stay home.

And I think that will bring this Christmas Horror Fest to a close. I managed to get through 13 films in two days, and the killer Santas are all kind of starting to blur together. Thanks to everyone who followed along, and I’ll see you for whatever crazy idea I come up with next!

Review: Early Edition – Christmas

Early Edition is a show that I just started watching this summer. It originally aired from 1996 to 2000, which was college for me, and the only TV shows I watched during that time were Seinfeld, Wings, King of Queens, and Everybody Loves Raymond. But I’m a big Kyle Chandler fan (Clear eyes, full hearts!), and I also love the city of Chicago, so I finally made it a point to jump into this one recently.

If you aren’t familiar with the show, Chandler plays a guy named Gary, who gets the next day’s Chicago Sun-Times delivered to him each morning (by a creepy cat!) and spends each day deciding which people he will save based on the future news stories. It’s sort of a mix of Quantum Leap, Back to the Future, and 11.22.63. If you like all of those as much as I do, you may dig this.

I started watching this a couple of weeks ago with no real knowledge of what to expect throughout the four-season run, and when I clicked on episode 11 last night, I was pleasantly surprised to find it was a Christmas episode. In fact, “Christmas” is the title of the episode, which originally aired on December 21, 1996 (only six days after I saw Ash and Weezer in New Orleans on the Pinkerton tour).

Christmas aside, this is probably my least favorite episode of the series so far. But as a holiday episode, it’s not bad.

The show is set on Christmas Eve, and there are two main plots. In one storyline, Gary is helping the police track down the Teddy Bear Bomber, who will be setting off a bomb in a public place, according to Gary’s newspaper. However, the headlines change each time Gary and the cops arrive at the supposed scenes. In the other plot, Chuck gets thrown in jail for unpaid parking tickets, and his cellmate may or may not be Santa.

The two plots converge at the end, when the Teddy Bear Bomber finds Gary and Detective Crumb at McGinty’s Bar. Chuck and Santa soon enter the bar as well, looking for a place to hide from the police after breaking out of jail.

The episode has the typical decorations and music you would expect from a show that takes place on Christmas Eve. Unfortunately, most of the music is pretty generic, but we do get Rosemary Clooney’s “White Christmas,” which is the first thing that really hit me with that true Christmas feeling this summer.

But the main thing that makes this a Christmas episode is the presence of Santa, played by the awesome M. Emmet Walsh, who we last saw as Walt Scheel in Christmas With the Kranks. His spin on Santa is a little different, and he certainly could just be a deranged lunatic. You just can’t tell.

In the end, Christmas comes after all, of course, and that’s really all you need. It’s worth a watch for Kyle Chandler, M. Emmet Walsh, Christmas, and the magic newspaper.

6/10

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Review: Alice – Mel, the Magi

So this one will be different. In the past, any Christmas episodes I’ve discussed on the blog or the podcast have been from series I’m mostly familiar with. King of Queens, Full House, and Fresh Prince, for example, are all shows that I remember very well and even still watch from time to time.

Lately, however, I’ve been thinking of going back to shows that I either didn’t watch or at least do not remember well at all. We were recently talking about the restaurant named Mel’s Diner in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, so Alice popped in my head. I figured a Christmas episode would be as good as any to check out.

This feels more like a Rusty show to me (although I have no idea if he really ever watched it or not). I know I’ve definitely seen episodes of it, I feel like maybe at a certain relative’s house or something, but I don’t think it was ever appointment viewing in my house. In fact, when I went to pull up an episode, I was searching for a show titled Mel’s Diner and didn’t even recall that the title of the series was actually Alice.

But eventually I got a hold of episode 11 from season 4 (December 23, 1979), titled “Mel, the Magi,” and will share my thoughts here about a show that I remember absolutely nothing about. I’m just jumping in for some Christmas cheer here at the end of June!

I’ll try to keep my comments and reactions related to this specific episode (and mainly how it relates to Christmas), but first… Did people actually like this theme song?

Anyway, we quickly learn that money is tight for everyone this year and that everyone affiliated with this diner will be spending Christmas Eve alone, including two random truckers who stumble in off the streets. So these waitresses, who seem to have way more time to sit around and talk than any diner waitresses I’ve ever seen, decide to all gather at the diner and spend Christmas Eve together. Even the two potential-psycho strangers!

The “Gift of the Magi” bit comes in as Tommy sells his guitar to buy Alice a pitcher that matches her coffee pot. Of course, Alice had to sell her coffee pot to buy a case for Tommy’s guitar. And when Flo sells her Johnny Cash oil painting to buy Vera’s Burt Bacharach records, you can probably guess that Vera pawns her record player to buy Flo a frame for the Johnny Cash painting. It’s all very forced, and I hope the writers didn’t spend a ton of time coming up with this stuff, but it works.

Looking at the title of the episode, you also don’t need to be a genius to know what Mel will be getting each of them for Christmas.

All the tropes are here. Alice is practical, Mel’s a grump, Vera is goofy, and Flo is loud. You’ll recognize all the sitcom archetypes within the first 8 minutes.

As a Christmas episode, I think it’s pretty good. The diner is decorated, the characters are singing lots of songs, and all of the plot revolves around the holiday. There is even a mysterious Santa Claus who appears. (And maybe he’s also a Grinch?) I even laughed out loud during the scene when Flo describes the possible thief (Santa Claus) to the police over the phone.

I’m awarding bonus points for the Bacharach records. And while I still think it’s absolutely weird that the two truckers are invited to hang out with them, I guess things were just a little different there at the very end of 1970s.

I recommend this episode for both fans of Alice and fans of Christmas on TV.

8/10

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What’s Up With These Songs? – “I’ll Be Home for Christmas”

What’s Up With These Songs? originally appeared on Rusty’s site. “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” was written by Kim Gannon and Walter Kent.

“I’ll be home for Christmas. You can plan on me.” So far, so good. Great news. I’ll be happy to see you. “Please have snow and mistletoe and presents on the tree.” Hold on a second. I can handle the mistletoe, no problem. But you don’t expect me to provide the snow, do you? I’m not God. It will either snow or it won’t. Also, presents on the tree? You’ve been away so long that you’ve forgotten that, in our house, we traditionally put the presents under the tree. But, if you insist, I’ll see what I can do. “Christmas Eve will find me where the lovelight gleams.” Lovely. You’ve redeemed yourself and you’ve got me all psyched to see you. It’s going to be quite romantic. Can’t wait. “I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams.” What? You said I could count on you, buddy! I held up my end of the bargain. I put up the mistletoe, I stuck your stupid presents on the tree, and — guess what — it’s even snowing. So where the hell are you? Dreaming about it? Thanks. Guess I’ll go join the growing number of seasonal suicides.

– Rusty

Guess the Tagline!

Here are some actual taglines that were used to promote 10 of the Christmas movies that we have discussed on our podcast. Can you match them all correctly? Answers are at the bottom.

A. Prancer // B. Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas // C. Home Alone
D. Mickey’s Christmas Carol // E. The Santa Clause // F. A Christmas Story
G. Christmas with the Kranks // H. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
I. I’ll Be Home for Christmas // J. It’s a Wonderful Life

1. This Christmas, the snow hits the fan.
2. Where wishes come true… where angels are real… The greatest gift of all… is right at home.
3. Holy cow!
4. Yule crack up!
5. Peace. Harmony. Comfort and Joy… Maybe Next Year.
6. He’s back! _ – in his first new motion picture in 30 years…
7. This yule, be cool.
8. Something magical is about to happen.
9. No! Ho! Ho!
10. A Merry Musical Treat For The Whole Family!

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1. E // 2. J // 3. C // 4. H // 5. F // 6. D // 7. I // 8. A // 9. G // 10. B
   (Source = IMDb)

What’s Up With These Songs? – “It’s the Holiday Season”

What’s Up With These Songs? originally appeared on Rusty’s site.

Andy Williams initially ropes us in here with Irving Berlin’s classic “Happy Holiday” from Holiday Inn. But does he keep going? No. Instead, he takes a sharp right at Cheesy Street, and the song quickly shifts to the second tune in the medley, Kay Thompson’s “It’s the Holiday Season.”

“It’s the Holiday Season” is very focused on Santa Claus and all the stuff he’s bringing us. At first, Williams tells us that Santa has “a toy” for each girl and boy. One toy. But then he says Santa is bringing “lots of goodies for you and for me.” Which is it, Andy? Am I getting one toy or lots of goodies? I kind of need to prepare myself and know what to leave the big guy as a token of thanks.

Speaking of which, I won’t be taking Andy’s suggestion when he tells me to “leave a peppermint stick for old St. Nick.” Sure, Mr. Williams. Sally next door is baking double chocolate chip cookies as we speak and will be leaving Santa a plate full of them along with a tall glass of ice cold milk. And I’m gonna leave him a candy cane I got in a 12-pack at the Dollar Tree? Furthermore, you want me to leave it “hangin’ on the Christmas tree”?! What kind of Where’s Waldo shenanigans am I pulling here? I want to thank Santa, not leave him a puzzle. “Thanks for all the goodies, Santa. Good luck finding the one candy cane I left just for you on my Christmas tree.”

Still, at least all of those lines contain actual lyrics. But what about the line where Andy says, “It’s the holiday season / so whoop-de-doo and dickory-dock”? I think Thompson honestly forgot to finish the song. She knew she wanted to remind us to hang up our socks, and she also knew that she wanted to pinpoint the time of Santa’s arrival as “just exactly at 12 o’clock.” (I do have to add that it seems physically impossible for him to appear at every single residence in the world at midnight. Plus, I’ve tracked him on NORAD.) Look, I have no problem with using gibberish as a lyric placeholder in a rough draft. But come on. At some point in the process someone had to think, “Hey wait. What about the missing lyrics in that one line where we’re just babbling nonsense and plagiarizing nursery rhymes?”

Don’t get me wrong. It’s a catchy song, and my kids seem to like it. But I’m definitely happy when we return to Berlin’s part of the medley.

– Mike

Rankin’ Rankin Bass: Music in Christmas Specials

To celebrate Leon Day and Christmas in July, we’ll be posting each day from June 25-July 4. Be sure to check out our Leon Day podcast episode if you haven’t listened yet!

Rankin Bass has been a big part of our podcast in our first two years, and Rusty and I both consider many of these Christmas specials as essential annual viewing. On our St. Patrick’s Day episode this year, I noted that the music in The Leprechauns’ Christmas Gold was surprisingly solid, and I wondered where it might fit if I’d decided to rank all of the Christmas specials based only on music. So of course, I had to do that.

To compile these rankings, I first gave each song a score from 1 to 5, with a 5 being a perfect song. (I’ve mentioned on the podcast that, in my 5-point scale, a 3 is average, while a 4 is something that is good, and I would purposely choose to listen to it.) I then ranked the specials, considering not only my average score per song, but also the amount of songs, along with the number of 4s and 5s each show might have.

Finally, I did not take into account any songs that were already known Christmas tunes before the special aired.

Here are my rankings, where I’ll also note which songs are 5s (perfect) and which are 1s (awful).

NR. Frosty the Snowman (1969)/Frosty’s Winter Wonderland (1976)

Neither of these shows contain new music (which is kind of weird), so they couldn’t really be ranked here. The original Frosty is in my top 3 Rankin Bass shows.

17. Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey (1977)

“Nestor” is a song written by Gene Autry, which was then adapted into this special two years later. There are only two other songs, and neither is very good.

16. The Little Drummer Boy, Book II (1976)

This one is barely better than Nestor, featuring only one original composition, “Money, Money, Money.” But at least it’s a decent song.

15. Pinocchio’s Christmas (1980)

There are eight songs here, and only the opener, “I Never Know What Gifts To Buy,” reached a 3 on my scale. In fact, “Dancin'” and “Wicked Glee” are my first 1s.

14. Cricket on the Hearth (1967)

The rest of the music in the shows from the ’60s is so good, so I was very disappointed when I finally watched this one for the first time. Out of nine songs, only the title track is average, while “Fish and Chips” gets a 1 from me.

13. Santa, Baby! (2001)

This one was tricky. Honestly, I did not even know about this special until I started these rankings. Airing 16 years after the previous special (The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus), it’s kind of easy to see why nothing else has happened since this one. It features Eartha Kitt (of course) and Gregory Hines, while podcast favorite Patti LaBelle contributes a bunch to the soundtrack. But look… it really isn’t watchable, at least not in 2021. Basically, 2001 was a strange time across the board, and that holds true for both animation and music. This was tough for me to rank, as the music attempts to be more contemporary, and I’m just typically not a fan of this style. That being said, the music (at least) is mostly not terrible. I mean, aside from the techno version of the title song, which was already a holiday standard and didn’t factor into my rankings, of course.

12. Jack Frost (1979)

This one is disappointing, partially because it was a great chance to get some decent Groundhog Day music. There are only a couple of decent songs here (out of seven), but “She Is Beautiful” is a 1.

11. Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July (1979)

We reviewed this one on our summer episode in 2020 and were both disappointed with the music. There are seven new songs, along with a handful of standards, and “Everything I Always Wanted” is not bad. Although a couple of others are decent as well, “Chicken Today and Feathers Tomorrow” is rough and gets a 1, the last clunker on this list.

10. Rudolph’s Shiny New Year (1976)

This one is barely any better than Christmas in July. It has a few average songs, including the opener, “Have a Happy New Year,” and I didn’t have any 1s.

9. The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus (1985)

There are only a handful of songs here, and honestly, none are spectacular, although “Big Surprise” is pretty good. Mainly, this special gets a huge boost due to the amazing background score. I need to find just the score, and I think someone needs to release it on vinyl.

8. The Leprechauns’ Christmas Gold (1981)

Again, we covered this special in our spring episode earlier this year. There are only three songs, and they’re all pretty good. “The Rainbow’s End” is my favorite song on this list so far, a 4 on my scale.

7. The First Christmas: The Story of the First Christmas Snow (1975)

Like the Christmas Gold, this special only has a few songs, but they’re all good. “Save a Little Christmas” and “The First White Christmas” are both 4s.

6. The Little Drummer Boy (1968)

Overall, I don’t think I liked the music here as much as I enjoyed the songs in The First Christmas. However, it has the first 5 on my scale with “One Star in the Night,” so it gets the higher spot on my list. The other songs are all OK.

5. The Stingiest Man in Town (1978)

I could probably go even higher with this special because there is so much great music here. “Sing a Christmas Carol” and “Humbug” are both 5s, and there are several 3s and 4s throughout. On the other hand, the songs were all written for the musical before Rankin Bass animated the story. Ultimately it gets a top 5 ranking due to the fact that I personally had not heard any of the songs until I first saw the Rankin Bass version a few years ago.

4. Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town (1970)

Every song is good here, and “Put One Foot in Front of the Other” is a 5. My average score for the six songs was nearly a 4.

3. ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (1974)

This was another tough one to rank because there are only three songs, but all three are among my favorites. “Christmas Chimes are Calling” and “Even a Miracle Needs a Hand” are both 5s, while “Give Your Heart a Try” is super close to being a 5 as well. Based on the music, it’s a top 3 special.

2. The Year Without a Santa Claus (1974)

Unlike 1979, Rankin Bass was knocking the music out of the park in 1974. Every song in this show is great. “Snow Miser” and “Heat Miser” are 5s, and these are two of the first songs that I turned into mp3s back when that became possible. “I Believe in Santa Claus” is also a 5.

1. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)

Nothing compares to this one. I’d rate every song as a 5, except for maybe “Fame and Fortune,” which probably shouldn’t even count. It’s just hit after hit. I think the radio stations should just dedicate 15-minute blocks to these tracks during the Christmas season. The songs are that good. Focusing on the music while doing these rankings, I quickly realized that the songs in this special definitely contribute to the fact that it’s the most famous Rankin Bass special of all.

…..

(Rankings by Mike. Don’t blame Rusty.)

Guess the Plot: Upcoming Christmas Movies

We recently found a list of Christmas movies scheduled to be released this year and decided to guess what each film would be about before going to IMDb to read the actual plot descriptions. Below are our guesses, followed by the IMDb summaries. As always, ours sound way better.

A Boy Called Christmas (2021)

Rusty: A couple loves Christmas so much that they give the name of the holiday to their son. As the boy grows up, because of kids making fun of his name, he comes to resent the entire season. When Christmas becomes an adult, he begins the process of legally changing his name. But when both his parents die in a car crash on Christmas Eve, he begins to wonder whether his name was a curse… or a gift. Featuring Rob Lowe as the voice of the angel.

Mike: When Ron and Paula Gift welcome their first and only child into the world on December 25th, they decide to name him after their favorite holiday and the day on which he was born. Unfortunately, the couple could not imagine the amount of bullying a kid would endure by going through life known as Christmas Gift. By the time he reaches 8th grade, a teenage Christmas has had enough of the attacks and vows to get revenge on his classmates who have ridiculed him over the years. Using his favorite film, Home Alone, as inspiration, Christmas uses paint cans, blowtorches, and BB guns, among other methods, to make sure his peers all give up and are absolutely not thirsty for more.

IMDb: This is the story of Father Christmas, the tale of a young boy named Nikolas (Henry Lawfull) as he goes on his adventures. This is a Christmas movie based on a book of the same title by Matt Haig and will include snow, elves, kidnapping, more snow, and Dame Maggie Smith. What more could you want in a holiday movie?

A Tiny House Christmas (2021)

Rusty: When Jim, his wife, and their four kids gets invited to spend a magical Christmas in Oregon with his brother Seth, he was not informed that Seth was now living in a 400 square foot “tiny house” in the middle of nowhere. But while there may not be room for basic necessities, there is plenty of room for love, and Jim begins to wonder whether this tiny house Christmas vacation was a curse… or a gift. Features a cameo by John Krasinski as the “Good News Neighbor.”

Mike: Using the minimal resources available to him, filmmaker Jake Stone attempts to document what it was like to celebrate Christmas for those living alone during the 2020 pandemic. Although it seems like an interesting concept, it soon becomes apparent that the subject doesn’t warrant a feature length running time. Stone shows the viewer around the tiny house that he occupies with his cat, he watches Christmas movies on a tiny screen, and he trims a tiny tree. By the time Stone heats up his frozen holiday meal in his microwave, the audience realizes that the remaining hour could be quite boring. In fact, an 18-minute Zoom session between the filmmaker and his parents actually feels like an editing mistake and may just be filler.

IMDb: A restless young woman finds herself working a seasonal job as an elf – and moving into a tiny house fit for one. When she unwraps a coworker’s greatest secret, she must come up with a plan as big as Christmas.

Nightmare on 34th Street (2021)

Rusty: After a childhood of not believing in Santa Claus, twenty-year-old Natalie Johnson becomes convinced of his existence when the Man in the Red Suit begins leaving her letters (“Are you naughty or nice?”), calling her on the phone to say he knows everything about her, and watching her when she’s sleeping. But when she invites her friends to stay with her on Christmas Eve for protection, Old Nick will have to dig through his bag of tricks in order to eliminate the bodies one by one. Will he bring her a gift… or a special appearance by Robert Englund as the abandoned mall Santa?

Mike: Well, you guys wanted the Nightmare Before Christmas sequel, and now you got it. Dummies. Tim Burton’s brother Daniel makes his directorial debut in this live-action musical, as Jack and Sally Skellington (played by Zac Efron and Lady Gaga) find themselves in New York City by mistake and attempt to spread Halloween cheer to the interesting characters that they meet. Eventually they’re arrested and accused of being insane, and a judge threatens to have the couple locked up. Susan Walker, now an adult and a lawyer, is the Skellingtons’ only hope. Look, it sounds kinda fun, but it’s not. Danny Elfman wanted nothing to do with this, so Lady Gaga wrote the music, and it’s just weird. Mara Wilson returns as Susan, and she really doesn’t have a great singing voice, as you’ll clearly hear in the tune “A Manhattan Christmas in the Courthouse on Halloween.”

IMDb: A mysterious Santa arrives on 34th Street, to recall three interconnected horror stories which will leave you never looking at Christmas the same way again.

Christmas in July (2021)

Rusty: It’s a curse! It’s a gift! It’s Phil Bardowell from the 1997-2000 Beach Boys touring band starring in the story of a man who only cares about surf, sun, and girls until the ghost of baseball great Leon Day appears to him in the middle of July to convince him to make a charity record to end racism, to be released at Christmas: “One to rival Band Aid!” It’s a musical extravaganza as Bardowell is joined by hit artists Chas Newby of the Quarrymen and Darryl Jones of the Stone Raiders. After seeing this film, you will declare that Christmas comes but twice a year!

Mike: Steve Carell plays Tank Winslow, a man who loves Christmas so much that he decides he will celebrate the holiday twice each year: once during the traditional season and then a “Half Christmas” in the summer. He plans a large gathering for the 25th of July, but as the big day approaches, Tank realizes that his math is terrible, and the 25th of June is actually the halfway point to Christmas. Why do people even celebrate Christmas in July, anyway? After no one comes to Tank’s party, he goes online and learns about Leon Day (not the baseball player), which is cool but does not really provide a very exciting third act. Look for the sequel, Christmas in June, in 2022.

IMDb: It’s smack dab in the middle of summer and the nefarious Count Dracula sees the off-season as the perfect time to take over everyone’s favorite holiday, Christmas. Can Santa and his pals save Christmas for us all? Ho, ho, ho, there’s only one way to know. Join the holiday superhero as he tackles the baddest baddie of all to save the holidays. It’s Christmas In July.

Top Five: Christmas Commercials from the 1980s

One of the holiday traditions at our house is to watch an old VHS tape I have that is filled with holiday specials from the ’80s. It’s a full six-hour tape, and most of the specials still contain the original commercials. Below are my five favorites from this tape.

1. Honey Nut Cheerios: Scrooge

The cereal wasn’t necessarily my favorite (forget honey, give us the sugar!), but this commercial is perfect. Scrooge and the set look authentic enough, the bee would fit in perfectly with some of the characters in Mickey’s Christmas Carol, and the music is fantastic.

2. York Peppermint Patties: Ski Jump

Although they weren’t a favorite and I probably never ate them from January through November, York Peppermint Patties were a staple around our house during the holidays. And it was fun to stand on the sofa and re-enact this ski jump.

3. McDonald’s: Hardnose Mrs. Hatcher

I realized as an adult that this isn’t even a holiday commercial. It clearly takes place at the end of a school year (“It’s been a year”). Still, McDonald’s was smart enough to know we’d hear this great song, see the red bow on the gift, and just connect it to Christmas somehow. Look, it’s on the tape, so it qualifies.

4. Pillsbury: Runaway

We talked about this on our podcast recently and how “running away” seemed like much more of an option for kids in the ’80s compared to kids today. Despite the fact that a kid today probably has much better gadgets to help them survive for a few hours in the woods or wherever kids go when they “run away,” we just don’t hear about it as much now. Either way, the kid in this commercial is super smart, threatening his way into some sweet chocolate chip cookies. I wonder how many kids tried this after seeing the commercial.

5. Oreo Cookies: Santa

Here you get the classic Oreo jingle combined with the Christmas-sounding background vocals and an electronic version of a bell choir. Everyone can relate to the idea of trying to stay awake and catch Santa in the act. And if Santa actually enjoys my favorite cookie, that’s just the bow on top.

Coming soon: The top five ’80s Christmas commercials that I left off of this list, according to people who read this.

Christmas Movie Marathon – This Saturday!

(Check back Friday for the final film announcement!)

Be sure to join us this Saturday anytime from noon to midnight (Central) to watch some fun movies and officially kick off the Christmas season! Below is some info based on questions people have recently asked:

• If you join the Snow in Southtown Scener, we will play the movies, and you won’t have to do anything. (It’s like we have the remote control.) Scener only works through the Chrome browser, and to be able to view the films on Netflix and Disney+, you will have to be logged in to your own accounts on those platforms. (This isn’t necessary for the YouTube films.)
• We will have a text live chat going in the Scener all day. We will do some live video stuff there throughout the day as well, most likely between films. (We also have a few things to give away!)
• If you can’t (or do not want to) join the Scener, or if you don’t have accounts for Netflix and/or Disney+, you can watch the films on your own. We’ll press play at the start time, and you should be able to have it synced up fairly close to us. For each film, we’ll try to do a countdown in the Scener chat, and you can also use this clock.
• I will have a separate video chat going with friends (this aspect of Scener is limited), but I will do my best to help and to answer any questions if needed. I would suggest testing and troubleshooting before Saturday if you know you’ll want to join us.
• Don’t forget we’ll also be active on Facebook and Twitter throughout the day, so be sure to check in there as well.

Snow in Southtown Christmas Movie Marathon – November 21st

Be sure to join us on Saturday, November 21st, as we screen 12 hours of Christmas movies! The films will all be available on Netflix, Disney+, and YouTube. We will have our schedule posted, and will begin each movie at the designated time. If you are logged into Netflix and Disney+ accounts, you will be able to watch along with us through Scener, where we’ll have a video feed and live chat available all day.

We will also be active on Facebook, Twitter, and this site and will do a few giveaways and some other fun stuff. Feel free to jump in for a couple of minutes at any point or for all 12 hours!

Over the next few weeks, we’ll be announcing the films for the marathon and will update this post as the films are announced.

If you have any questions, please reach out to us on Facebook or Twitter!

Review: Diff’rent Strokes – Santa’s Helper

On December 18, 1982, Diff’rent Strokes aired “Santa’s Helper,” its only true Christmas episode, aside from a first-season attempt that aired a few days after Christmas in 1978 and consisted mostly of clips from the show’s first seven episodes.

When “Santa’s Helper” begins, the family is decorating the tree, and we quickly learn that the star is an antique that has been in the family for years. Of course there are many other valuables in the Drummond household, including the video camera and all of the family’s gifts.

When Arnold finds out he isn’t getting a Christmas bonus from working for his dad’s company, he needs to find a way to earn money and buy presents. (‘Tis the season!) Unfortunately, he’s recently blown all of his cash on a statue of E.T with a clock in his stomach! (‘Tis 1982!) He soon meets Mr. Jones, who is dressed as Santa and collecting money for charity, and Arnold joins him in his efforts.

While it isn’t quite clear at first if Mr. Jones is definitely a scam artist, after becoming friends with Arnold’s family, his true colors come out, and he Grinches the Drummonds while they sleep on Christmas Eve.

Of course, Arnold (accidentally) helps Mr. Jones see he’s done something wrong, and Christmas comes after all when the gifts are returned to the family’s door as they are eating dinner.

This episode is full of Christmas tropes and fun, from the decorations and the carols to Arnold’s E.T. alarm clock being set for 6 a.m. on Christmas morning. However, it also represents the overall series very well. Even as a fifth-season episode, you easily learn everything you need to know about the series to enjoy this special. And you even get a “Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Santa?!” for fun. You could show this episode to your kids or any friends who have never seen Diff’rent Strokes, and you really wouldn’t have to explain much about the family’s background.

With a quick 25-minute runtime, “Santa’s Helper” should easily slide into your family’s annual watch list.

9/10

Review: Leave It to Beaver – The Haircut

The fourth episode of the series, this takes place in December, yet it aired in October 1957. In the show, Beaver has developed a habit of losing his lunch money. When he is chosen to be an angel in the school holiday musical, his dad sends him to the barbershop for a haircut; however, Beaver loses this money as well, so he decides to give himself a haircut. When that doesn’t go well, Wally tries to help. Eventually their parents find out, forgive them, and take them out for breakfast and a movie. And the Christmas play comes after all.

This episode reminds us of a few things about this time:

– Moms had to beg dads to talk to their kids about issues they were having at school.

– The grocery bill total was $23.

– A haircut cost $1.50. (The barber got a .25 cent tip.)

Honestly, it’s really not much of a Christmas episode, although it’s as close to one as the original series ever got. (We’ll have to visit The New Leave It to Beaver later!) Still, we do see June making the angel costume throughout the show, and Wally even tries it on (even if it makes him “look like a sissy”). Eventually, we do get to see the angel choir belt out “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing,” and I have to believe that eight years later, someone involved with A Charlie Brown Christmas played this version for producers, begging “please make sure our kids sing better than this!”

Overall, the episode is a fine early example of the show’s strong points. The haircut itself is pretty funny, although Beaver spends most of his time in his stocking cap to hide it. But more importantly, I was surprised to see Ward and June handle the situation so well, especially since we’re often led to believe that parents didn’t accept these types of shenanigans back then.

In fact, if we approach the show with a Christmas mindset, although the timelines are nearly two decades apart, Ward is very similar to the dad in A Christmas Story. He’s definitely stern and has certain expectations, but when it matters most, he’s a great dad and just wants the best for his kids.

7/10

Review: Full House – Our Very First Christmas Show

This is the first of three Christmas episodes from the eight-season run of Full House. If you’re looking for general info about the episode, you can find a lot of it here. The basic plot is that the family is heading to Colorado for Christmas, yet everyone ends up snowed in at an airport.

To me, as a fan of the show, this is definitely a classic episode. Although it’s one of the rare moments (and maybe the first?) where the family leaves San Francisco together, that’s part of what makes it great. Even on an airplane or in an airport, the show still works. It’s also a chance to see the Tanners interact with a whole bunch of strangers, which is also kind of fun. (On a side note, my kids think it’s funny that Jesse and Joey are always just included in “The Tanners,” when they clearly have different last names.)

Although it’s kind of weird that Jesse’s parents (the Katsopolises) are joining them for a “Tanner” family trip, they’re really here to encourage Jesse’s pursuit of Becky, which feels OK. In fact, going back and watching all of the episodes, I guess I never realized that there wasn’t a whole lot of courting. For most of the first half of this season, Jesse doesn’t seem to stand a chance. Yet after their first kiss in this episode, things go pretty quickly, and the season ends with them almost getting married. So this episode is clearly the turning point for Jesse and Becky.

Of course, the highlight happens when Santa appears, and everyone later realizes it wasn’t actually Joey. See, you guys? Christmas came after all.

9/10

Interview: Milton the Ice Cream Man (Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July)

If you listened to our latest podcast episode celebrating Leon Day 2020, you know we discussed the 1979 Rankin Bass feature Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July, which explores some of the Rankin Bass mythology and ties together several stories. We do meet some new characters as well, including Milton the Ice Cream Man, who stores his goods at the North Pole and retrieves them each summer to take back home and sell.

Whether he’s dodging tax payments or is just kind of weird, Milton is mostly the cause of all the drama that goes down in the film. We thought it might be interesting to catch up with the Ice Cream Man now and get his current take on the events of that fateful summer.

Snow in Southtown: Hi Milton. Thanks for taking a few minutes to catch up with us. First, what have you been up to since the movie? Do you still keep your ice cream stash at the North Pole, or have you gotten your whole freezer situation figured out?

Milton: I kept my ice cream there for a few years, but as Chilly and Milly — Frosty and Crystal’s children — grew up and learned the story of that summer, they approached me and said perhaps I should just pay for my own freezer instead. I think they considered me something of a troublemaker, even though I’m just a guy trying to keep his ice cream cold. At one point, Milly even says to me, “Look, just stay away from my dad.”

Snow in Southtown: How are things going for you and Laine? Are the two of you still involved with the circus?

Milton: It’s funny. The circus did become a big success, after all that trouble we went through, but then Laine’s mom, Ms. Loraine, decided she would be happier doing a rodeo instead. Go figure. We even roped Rudolph into it for a year or two, cowboys riding on his back while he did his jumps and all that. There wasn’t really a place in the rodeo for Laine though, so she helps me with the ice cream business now. I think she’s happy in our marriage. She talks a lot about the old days.

Snow in Southtown: Looking back, why do you think Spangles was so obsessed with stealing your circus? I’ve heard of diamond heists, casino capers, and bank robberies, but I’ve never heard of anyone trying to get rich via circus theft. And it didn’t even seem like a great circus, which needed the presence of THE MOST FAMOUS REINDEER OF ALL just to survive.

Milton gets a great idea…

Milton: I never figured that whole thing out. I was mostly in love, you know. I would have done anything for Laine, and I guess I did. In retrospect, I put a lot of blame on myself for everything that happened. I dunno. It almost feels like the idea for getting Rudolph to join the circus didn’t even come from me, almost like I was some other person. I guess that’s weird, isn’t it? I will say that Spangles has had even stranger ideas. He once tried to train a gorilla to make counterfeit chocolate.

Snow in Southtown: On the night of July 4, 1979, you kind of disappeared. We had some major events taking place, as Scratcher was tricking Rudolph into using his nose for evil, Frosty was seconds away from melting, Santa and Mrs. Claus were missing, and there was a whole fireworks display going off. Where were YOU?

Milton: Like I said, I was in love! You saw how cute Laine used to be. Would you be thinking about anything else? Besides, whatever trouble these weirdos got up to once I got them there had nothing to do with me. Could I have been a better friend? Sure. Between you and me, I was one of the people booing Rudolph when his nose didn’t light up anymore. And it wasn’t even because I thought he stole from the circus. You just get swept up by the crowd, you know? As for the fireworks, they were boring. Very generic.

Snow in Southtown: Rudolph has claimed that you are, in fact, “a million laughs.” Do you agree with his assessment? I might give you credit for one or two, maybe even a handful. But a million? What’s your take on this?

Milton: Rudolph is not a funny person. No offense to him or anything, but have you ever heard him tell a joke? No. I’m not the most hilarious guy in the universe, but I know how to have a good time. You don’t get to a place in life where you fly a hot air balloon from Florida to the North Pole for an ice cream pick-up while dating a tight-rope walker without learning a joke or two. So to this un-funny reindeer, I’m sure I was a regular Shecky Greene. Personally, I thought Frosty was funny, always making dark jokes about he and his family melting, but I don’t think Rudolph got half of those.

Snow in Southtown: Have you heard from Rudolph and Frosty lately? Do you guys regularly hang out (or zoom currently) to reminisce about the good old days?

 

Milton: Frosty not so much. His kids see to that, not that I was going to go out of my way to visit him or anything. I barely knew him beyond that summer. Rudolph and I have kept in touch. Laine likes him or whatever, and the Center for Disease Control says that animals do not play a significant role in the spread of the coronavirus, so we hang out a lot now. We play a lot of Scrabble.

Five Essential Versions: The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)

We know Robert Wells and Mel Torme wrote “The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)” in the summer, attempting to stay cool on a hot day, which we discussed on episode S1E8, while reviewing the #3 Christmas song of all-time.

In an effort to help us all “stay cool” as we kick off Christmas in July, here are five essential versions of “The Christmas Song.”

5. Alex Chilton (1993) – Best known as the singer of the Box Tops and Big Star, Chilton recorded this song for his Cliches LP. It later appeared on the dB’s & Friends’ Christmas Time Again CD in 2006, along with tracks by Big Star, Peter Holsapple, Chris Stamey, and others.

4. The Jackson 5 (1970) – This version, from the Jackson 5 Christmas Album, is great, featuring strings, the amazing bass guitar that runs through the whole album, and the fun “Jingle Bells” background vocals at the end.

3. The Vince Guaraldi Trio (1966) – This instrumental version was recorded for the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack, although it was not used in the TV special.

2. The Carpenters (1978) – As a Carpenters fan, this one is likely my favorite version. It includes the original opening (“All through the year, we’ve waited…”) and was included on the great Christmas Portrait album.

1. Nat King Cole (1961) – Cole originally recorded the first version of this tune in 1946 and then again in 1953. You can find these versions in different collections and even on YouTube. But the 1961 version is the one we hear the most on the radio each year and probably the version you hear in your head when you think of the song.

 

Review: AXS TV Top Ten Revealed – Rockin’ Christmas Songs

Any music fan who grew up in the ’80s and ’90s knows that whenever there was nothing on television, we could always switch over to MTV (and later MTV2, VH1, or even Fuse TV) to catch some music-related videos or content. While most of those opportunities are gone now, I’ve found that AXS TV can be a suitable replacement and will check the channel from time to time and at least DVR a few of the upcoming shows. The AXS original series like Classic Albums, Rock Legends, The Big Interview, and AXS TV Concerts can be pretty good, and I also sometimes watch the Top Ten Revealed. (If you don’t know about AXS TV, I recommend checking your cable to see if you get it.)

I recently recorded the Top Ten Revealed episode “Rockin’ Christmas Songs,” and I wanted to see if I agreed with the show’s choices. Below I’ll list the Top Ten, along with my rating (out of 10) for each song.

10. Bing Crosby and David Bowie – Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth

At Snow in Southtown (and even on my horror podcast), we tend to rip on Little Drummer Boy a bit, mostly stemming from the Little Drummer Boy Challenge that my friends and I discuss each year. But I honestly don’t mind the song, I still have the Ezra Jack Keats book I grew up with, and I think this version is pretty special.

What AXS taught us: The pair had an hour to rehearse and three takes to record.

9/10

9. The Ramones – Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want To Fight Tonight)

The Ramones are in my Top 10-20 bands, and they’re an influence on so much that I do. This song is definitely in my top tier of Christmas rock songs.

What AXS taught us: Dee Snider LOVES Christmas music.

10/10

8. The Kinks – Father Christmas

As a power pop nerd and musician, I was super late to the Kinks party. And when I did jump into the band’s discography about 10-11 years ago, they weren’t on the streaming sites, so it took more work. That being said, this song is more of a recent favorite, but it’s quickly shot up to be near the top of my Christmas rock songs.

10/10

7. Paul McCartney – Wonderful Christmastime

This is the first song on this show that has been reviewed on our podcast, way back on our first episode, All Year Long. I’m sure I made it clear there that I’m a huge fan of the Beatles, McCartney, his music, and this song.

What AXS taught us: McCartney makes $400,000 each year from this song.

10/10

6. Daryl Hall & John Oates – Jingle Bell Rock

We discussed this song on episode four, The Jingle Horse, and I’m guessing we touched on the Hall & Oates recording. I’m OK with the song, but I’m not a huge fan of this recording.

What AXS taught us: Sebastian Bach somehow thinks this recording is a highlight of the Christmas season. And he owns a Slayer Christmas sweater.

4/10

5. Elvis Presley – Blue Christmas

I’m not quite the Elvis Christmas fan that Rusty is, but I definitely like it and appreciate it.

What AXS taught us: Elvis’s Christmas record is still the all-time best-selling Christmas record.

8/10

4. Wham! – Last Christmas

This is one that I’ve grown to appreciate and enjoy more and more over the years. I’m not really a fan of any of the covers, but this track is a big part of my Christmas soundtrack.

What AXS taught us: George Michael “wanted to be like Prince” and recorded every instrument on this track.

9/10

3. The Beach Boys – Little Saint Nick

This is my favorite band, and I was glad to see them listed in the show’s top three. This track is obviously in heavy rotation at my house each year.

What AXS taught us: Sebastian Bach thinks they’re singing about Santa surfing. (They also discuss how Mike Love sued Brian Wilson to receive writing credit on this and a bunch of other songs, which is probably useful info for casual fans.)

10/10

*Weird show note: After splitting up the first seven songs over two segments, the show returned from commercial break and discussed only “Little Saint Nick” in this segment before returning to commercial and coming back with the final two tracks.

2. John Lennon and Yoko Ono/Plastic Ono Band – Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

The Beatles are also in my top three bands, and like the Beach Boys track, I believe this song would be a classic even without the Christmas theme.

What AXS taught us: The song sounds VERY similar to “Stewball,” a song recorded by the Hollies and many others. Even as a huge Beatles fan, I don’t always pay attention enough to hear about controversies like this, so I did learn about this from the show. Still, as a songwriter, I also understand that this just happens sometimes. And even if you consider it an “interpretation,” Lennon elevates it to be something that it wasn’t.

10/10

1. Bruce Springsteen – Santa Claus Is Coming to Town

So the show ends by taking my favorite Christmas song and giving the top spot to one of my least favorite versions of it. And speaking of ripoffs, they even note that this is just a cover of the Crystals’ version from the great Spector record. Why not just use that version? I’m OK with the Boss overall (even when he says the pitcher threw a “speedball”), but I just don’t like this recording or the fact that it is played SO often.

What AXS taught us: The song was recorded in 1975 and was actually first released on a Sesame Street compilation in 1982, before finally becoming a single in 1985 (ruining our Christmas seasons with hourly attacks ever since).

4/10

Final Thoughts

Overall, I was surprised to find I was mostly in agreement with the show’s Top Ten. I didn’t find myself yelling at the screen nearly as much as I thought I would, at least not until the end. Off the top of my head, the list’s biggest omission by far is Band Aid’s “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” Which Christmas song do you think should have been included on this list?