Check out the full schedule for our horror movie marathon here.
Cube (1997) – 7/10 – My main complaint with this movie is just that it feels too much like the Canadian TV stuff from this period and not enough like a feature film. But I definitely like it, and I probably like it more than Saw. Of course, I don’t know nearly enough about math to know if any of the number stuff is legit, so I just have to trust them like a big dummy. Why can’t we ever get a grammar nerd psycho who makes people diagram a sentence to escape? (Thanks to King Richard for the pick!)
Cube 2: Hypercube (2002) – 3/10 – To be fair to King Richard, he only picked the first Cube for this weekend. I was the idiot who added Cube 2 in an effort to revisit it, hoping it wasn’t as bad as I’d remembered. So that’s my fault. But I was thinking, they really should’ve gotten Ice Cube to be in one of these things, right?
*Deliver Us (2023) – 5/10 – A pregnant nun believes she is carrying both the messiah and the devil (or something like that), and a Jesuit priest has to help her escape. I usually hate this stuff, but this was OK! I actually really liked it at times, especially when it’s almost a slasher, but then there are parts where it falls flat, as expected. But there’s a version somewhere in here that could be a 7 or 8 for me, which is saying a lot.
*All Fun and Games (2023) – 5/10 – This demon possession film set in Salem features some pretty good actors, including Annabeth Gish and kids from Stranger Things, Bly Manor, The Pope’s Exorcist, and others. Factor in the short run time (76 minutes), and it’s worth a watch.
*Killer Kites (2023) – I can’t really rate this because it’s not just a horror film. It’s more of a warning about the dangers of flying kites, specifically evil kites, you know? And for that, it’s a 10/10. Don’t watch it because I say it’s fun. Watch it because it might save you one day.
*Slotherhouse (2023) – 2/10 – OK, this was bad. Obviously, no one expected it to be good, but it’s just really dumb. The sloth drives, browses the web, and takes selfies. For 93 minutes! The kills are “fine” (it’s a PG-13, so don’t even expect good slasher kills), but it could’ve been way better as a 20-minute short. If you want something crazy and funny, Killer Kites is better than this. Things I said out loud while watching it: “We’re only 15 minutes into this thing?” “It’s only halfway over?” “There are STILL 20 minutes left?”
* = first watch
Update: This weekend’s Shudder picks will be The Gate (1987) and V/H/S/85 (2023). We’ll also watch Haunted Mansion (2023) and a bunch more.
Snow in Southtown Christmas Podcast 